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<blockquote data-quote="winama" data-source="post: 558049" data-attributes="member: 15433"><p>Hello, new here to this site. I have decided to take the new path to detachment as I see others here are as well. As Einstein says " keep doing the same thing and expecting different results is the definition of insanity"....well, my oldest son is now homeless. He's homeless in the very city I live in...maybe not 7-8 miles away. Very uncharacteristic of me, I've denied his living with me or even "staying for a minute to get myself together" as he would say. I have also stopped communicating with him as this only results in long drawn-out texting or emailing where he, through manipulation, will tell me all the things wrong with my personality and what a horrible mother I am. His way of talking to me is abusive and I've finally come to see this and to see how I've enabled him for far too long. I now have drawn the line in the sand and said NO MORE ABUSE. I've enabled him by not setting strong enough borders around myself as to how much I'll take before closing the door. Well, now I'm changing finally. No point in explaining to him why I've not answered his calls or txts. He'd only find some way to tell me I'm crazy or wrong or or or.....This hurts me. Although it hurts, I feel this peace within that I've not felt before in my decision making as a mother in regards to him. After much prayer and consideration I do feel what I'm doing is right. In a roundabout way, I'm actually letting him know I trust him to make his own good decisions about his life without my corrections or interference. It's getting cold outside and I do think about it much and my heart is beating harder-literally as I let go and trust God and my son to work this out alone. I have also decided that if my son never gets straight and recovers from the blame of family and doesn't accept total responsibility for his own life, then our relationship may NEVER be close. I have sacrificed a relationship with him out of love. This is the ultimate in love. To not control. To let go. I know this but it still feels strange and I still feel like some of where he is is my fault.....but I know in my GUT that this is right for me....to let go and let him find his way.....he's smart and resourceful. I do, however, understand others pain on this site and my sincere prayers and wishes go out to you, I know your pain.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="winama, post: 558049, member: 15433"] Hello, new here to this site. I have decided to take the new path to detachment as I see others here are as well. As Einstein says " keep doing the same thing and expecting different results is the definition of insanity"....well, my oldest son is now homeless. He's homeless in the very city I live in...maybe not 7-8 miles away. Very uncharacteristic of me, I've denied his living with me or even "staying for a minute to get myself together" as he would say. I have also stopped communicating with him as this only results in long drawn-out texting or emailing where he, through manipulation, will tell me all the things wrong with my personality and what a horrible mother I am. His way of talking to me is abusive and I've finally come to see this and to see how I've enabled him for far too long. I now have drawn the line in the sand and said NO MORE ABUSE. I've enabled him by not setting strong enough borders around myself as to how much I'll take before closing the door. Well, now I'm changing finally. No point in explaining to him why I've not answered his calls or txts. He'd only find some way to tell me I'm crazy or wrong or or or.....This hurts me. Although it hurts, I feel this peace within that I've not felt before in my decision making as a mother in regards to him. After much prayer and consideration I do feel what I'm doing is right. In a roundabout way, I'm actually letting him know I trust him to make his own good decisions about his life without my corrections or interference. It's getting cold outside and I do think about it much and my heart is beating harder-literally as I let go and trust God and my son to work this out alone. I have also decided that if my son never gets straight and recovers from the blame of family and doesn't accept total responsibility for his own life, then our relationship may NEVER be close. I have sacrificed a relationship with him out of love. This is the ultimate in love. To not control. To let go. I know this but it still feels strange and I still feel like some of where he is is my fault.....but I know in my GUT that this is right for me....to let go and let him find his way.....he's smart and resourceful. I do, however, understand others pain on this site and my sincere prayers and wishes go out to you, I know your pain. [/QUOTE]
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