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Detaching from eldest difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 46984" data-attributes="member: 3"><p><span style='font-size: 11pt'>Marcie, I think writing her a letter(even if you never mail it) is a good way to put your feelings down and sort them. I know you felt close to her until the last four or five years. </p><p>Right now, she is a liar but even worse, she has become a bully to the very people she depends on to pick up her pieces when she falls apart. </p><p>There is nothing worse than a bully except for those that, emotionally blackmail their loved ones to get their way. She seems to have developed both these negative characteristics. </p><p></p><p>Regardless of the pros and cons of your mothering, you don't deserve to be bullied or blackmailed. It's time to throw away your guilt and self doubt. She is way out of line. If you put up a little armor and speak to her as the difficult "child" she has become, hopefully she will grow up. You are not responsible for her negative personality traits. No matter how hard she tries to b.s. you into believing it. </p><p>You are the most tolerant, kindest woman I know. Don't let her take that joy out of your spirit. Fight back and preserve it.</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 46984, member: 3"] <span style='font-size: 11pt'>Marcie, I think writing her a letter(even if you never mail it) is a good way to put your feelings down and sort them. I know you felt close to her until the last four or five years. Right now, she is a liar but even worse, she has become a bully to the very people she depends on to pick up her pieces when she falls apart. There is nothing worse than a bully except for those that, emotionally blackmail their loved ones to get their way. She seems to have developed both these negative characteristics. Regardless of the pros and cons of your mothering, you don't deserve to be bullied or blackmailed. It's time to throw away your guilt and self doubt. She is way out of line. If you put up a little armor and speak to her as the difficult "child" she has become, hopefully she will grow up. You are not responsible for her negative personality traits. No matter how hard she tries to b.s. you into believing it. You are the most tolerant, kindest woman I know. Don't let her take that joy out of your spirit. Fight back and preserve it.</span> [/QUOTE]
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Detaching from eldest difficult child
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