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Detachment 101 Failure
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 49122" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>I'm with RM. Maybe she has to be homeless before she qualifies for any help. And maybe she has to be that low before she fends for herself.</p><p></p><p>I would ask you to read your own posts again, and ask that you reconsider what exactly it is that you believe "detachment" is. It's not just letting them fend for themselves as to where they live, it's letting them live with their own decisions.</p><p></p><p>Quote:"I've suggested she look into Job Corps."</p><p></p><p>"I've suggested she go to unemployment office to see what they have to offer."</p><p></p><p>"I don't think I can tell her she can't come back home."</p><p></p><p>"I will try to guide her towards getting her GED and then, hopefully, job corps or something."</p><p></p><p>Let her go. As long as she is doing something you suggest, it is your fault if it doesn't work out because it was your idea.</p><p></p><p>Along a different line, coming from a family who still believes I am the exact same person that I was 34 years ago when I was 14, and will never see me as anything else, I would caution you from thinking along these lines:</p><p></p><p>"She is and always will be manipulative and probably always irresponsible. "</p><p></p><p>Everybody gets to change and to grow up. It takes some of us longer to do it than others. She won't thank you for feeling that way about her, and it won't help her.</p><p></p><p>Finally, being in the process of trying to get my chronically mildly to moderately depressed to the point of being unable to function husband on medication, I feel obligated to point out that you are not doing anyone any favors by waiting out every other possible option <em>before</em> you try medication. Medications make the other options easier to carry through. I hope you will reconsider.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 49122, member: 99"] I'm with RM. Maybe she has to be homeless before she qualifies for any help. And maybe she has to be that low before she fends for herself. I would ask you to read your own posts again, and ask that you reconsider what exactly it is that you believe "detachment" is. It's not just letting them fend for themselves as to where they live, it's letting them live with their own decisions. Quote:"I've suggested she look into Job Corps." "I've suggested she go to unemployment office to see what they have to offer." "I don't think I can tell her she can't come back home." "I will try to guide her towards getting her GED and then, hopefully, job corps or something." Let her go. As long as she is doing something you suggest, it is your fault if it doesn't work out because it was your idea. Along a different line, coming from a family who still believes I am the exact same person that I was 34 years ago when I was 14, and will never see me as anything else, I would caution you from thinking along these lines: "She is and always will be manipulative and probably always irresponsible. " Everybody gets to change and to grow up. It takes some of us longer to do it than others. She won't thank you for feeling that way about her, and it won't help her. Finally, being in the process of trying to get my chronically mildly to moderately depressed to the point of being unable to function husband on medication, I feel obligated to point out that you are not doing anyone any favors by waiting out every other possible option [I]before[/I] you try medication. Medications make the other options easier to carry through. I hope you will reconsider. [/QUOTE]
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