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Parent Emeritus
Detachment from 36 year-old difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 621732" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>36 is always calling "mama." He says, without shame, "I'm a mama's boy." I really don't mind it as long as he doesn't ask me to support him financially and to be his mommy which is different from being an adult's mother. I am fine being his mother, but not his mommy. He is not a little boy anymore and has made some very questionable choices in his life that I will not get him out of. While I am willing to talk to him if he is upset, maybe more than most mothers of grown sons do, the minute he gets abusive, cusses or tells me why something that is his fault is my fault, I get off the phone.</p><p></p><p>Also, just because you thought you felt him saying "mama" doesn't mean he is.And if he is? He's a man now and you simply will not do him any favors by acting like "daddy." You can talk to him and be a father, but, when you part company, he makes his own decisions and you make yours and you have not done ANYTHING wrong. You can not live forever. He has to grow up. Often he wants me to make decisions for him and I won't do that anymore. Sometimes he gets furious with me for refusing to make decisions for me, swears, gets abusive and hangs up himself.</p><p></p><p>Disclaimer: This is strictly my own opinion and I know others may not agree and should take what they find useful and throw out the stuff you don't find useful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 621732, member: 1550"] 36 is always calling "mama." He says, without shame, "I'm a mama's boy." I really don't mind it as long as he doesn't ask me to support him financially and to be his mommy which is different from being an adult's mother. I am fine being his mother, but not his mommy. He is not a little boy anymore and has made some very questionable choices in his life that I will not get him out of. While I am willing to talk to him if he is upset, maybe more than most mothers of grown sons do, the minute he gets abusive, cusses or tells me why something that is his fault is my fault, I get off the phone. Also, just because you thought you felt him saying "mama" doesn't mean he is.And if he is? He's a man now and you simply will not do him any favors by acting like "daddy." You can talk to him and be a father, but, when you part company, he makes his own decisions and you make yours and you have not done ANYTHING wrong. You can not live forever. He has to grow up. Often he wants me to make decisions for him and I won't do that anymore. Sometimes he gets furious with me for refusing to make decisions for me, swears, gets abusive and hangs up himself. Disclaimer: This is strictly my own opinion and I know others may not agree and should take what they find useful and throw out the stuff you don't find useful. [/QUOTE]
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Detachment from 36 year-old difficult child
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