Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Detachment from 36 year-old difficult child
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 621772" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi Mechdonna, glad you are here. I have "heard" my son calling in the night. I think it's the basic DNA talking when that happens---that strong iron cord that binds us to our children forever. I posted a few days ago about that cord. It stretches and stretches and stretches so tight with difficult children. </p><p></p><p>Finally WE have to be the ones to cut it, because we finally get it that they aren't going to.</p><p></p><p>With "regular" kids, they grow and they go. The cord hangs loosely and comfortably. I have that with my older son---he's 28 and we talk by phone usually about once a week. He is engaged, has a Master's degree, and is moving back here with his fiancee in the spring. They are both mature people and "doing what they are supposed to do." </p><p></p><p>It's so hard when we still hear our difficult children calling. It scares us and we go back into old thinking. Can we limit it to just the thinking and the feelings...or....do we DO something? That is what I am trying to stop---the doing something part.</p><p></p><p>The task is this, I believe, to recognize the DNA connection and be thankful for it, because it is a gift, but not react to it. </p><p></p><p>They are now adults. We get detachment. We are practicing it and at least we are better, for the most part. They may or may not be better. Right now I am feeling a "fragile peace" when I think about my son, who has been out of jail for three weeks and is homeless. Usually he can hang on for 30 to 60 days before something else happens.</p><p></p><p>Maybe it will be different this time.</p><p></p><p>Maybe it won't.</p><p></p><p>It's up to him. </p><p></p><p>But yes, sometimes I feel him calling in the night. I heard him calling last week when I didn't know where he was and hadn't heard from him in several days. I almost drove by a couple of places to see if he was there. But I didn't.</p><p></p><p>One day at a time. Hugs and prayers and blessings to you today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 621772, member: 17542"] Hi Mechdonna, glad you are here. I have "heard" my son calling in the night. I think it's the basic DNA talking when that happens---that strong iron cord that binds us to our children forever. I posted a few days ago about that cord. It stretches and stretches and stretches so tight with difficult children. Finally WE have to be the ones to cut it, because we finally get it that they aren't going to. With "regular" kids, they grow and they go. The cord hangs loosely and comfortably. I have that with my older son---he's 28 and we talk by phone usually about once a week. He is engaged, has a Master's degree, and is moving back here with his fiancee in the spring. They are both mature people and "doing what they are supposed to do." It's so hard when we still hear our difficult children calling. It scares us and we go back into old thinking. Can we limit it to just the thinking and the feelings...or....do we DO something? That is what I am trying to stop---the doing something part. The task is this, I believe, to recognize the DNA connection and be thankful for it, because it is a gift, but not react to it. They are now adults. We get detachment. We are practicing it and at least we are better, for the most part. They may or may not be better. Right now I am feeling a "fragile peace" when I think about my son, who has been out of jail for three weeks and is homeless. Usually he can hang on for 30 to 60 days before something else happens. Maybe it will be different this time. Maybe it won't. It's up to him. But yes, sometimes I feel him calling in the night. I heard him calling last week when I didn't know where he was and hadn't heard from him in several days. I almost drove by a couple of places to see if he was there. But I didn't. One day at a time. Hugs and prayers and blessings to you today. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Detachment from 36 year-old difficult child
Top