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Detachment? Is detaching mostly external/public?
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 491024" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>Hi Signorina,</p><p></p><p>For me, detachment started out external but slowly I was able to internalize it. I realized that trying to micromanage my difficult child or control what she was doing was not working so I had to let go. Like Nancy said, it is easier when they don't live with us . . . out of sight out of mind really is true.</p><p></p><p>This past Monday, when husband and I were out of town, I got a text from difficult child saying that her original roommate at the halfway house had killed herself. I texted back that it was very sad. I did call her and asked how she knew and she gave me a convoluted story about someone who knew someone who knew someone who knew the girl (20 years old). I again said that I was sorry to hear that someone so young could be so unhappy and asked difficult child how she was doing.</p><p></p><p>She said that she didn't want to talk and didn't want to be there anymore. I just said that I understood that she didn't want to talk about it and suggested getting a job so she could move out of the halfway house. She hung up on me.</p><p></p><p>In the past, I would have gotten worried that she would do something drastic and called back or let it ruin our trip. This time I was able to set it aside and let it go. </p><p></p><p>It takes time but does get easier.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 491024, member: 1967"] Hi Signorina, For me, detachment started out external but slowly I was able to internalize it. I realized that trying to micromanage my difficult child or control what she was doing was not working so I had to let go. Like Nancy said, it is easier when they don't live with us . . . out of sight out of mind really is true. This past Monday, when husband and I were out of town, I got a text from difficult child saying that her original roommate at the halfway house had killed herself. I texted back that it was very sad. I did call her and asked how she knew and she gave me a convoluted story about someone who knew someone who knew someone who knew the girl (20 years old). I again said that I was sorry to hear that someone so young could be so unhappy and asked difficult child how she was doing. She said that she didn't want to talk and didn't want to be there anymore. I just said that I understood that she didn't want to talk about it and suggested getting a job so she could move out of the halfway house. She hung up on me. In the past, I would have gotten worried that she would do something drastic and called back or let it ruin our trip. This time I was able to set it aside and let it go. It takes time but does get easier. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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