Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Detachment - is it REALLY necessary? - long.......
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 104767"><p>My difficult child is not quite 13 and if I haven't detached somewhat, I would be in a locked ward. As I tell her all the time, I can offer her the resources (therapy, medications, etc), but I simply cannot do the work for her. I can guide her, hold her hand, show her the way and be her support, but she has to take me up on the offer. I told her that no matter how much I want to be able to do it for her, I can't and even at almost 13 she has to want to help herself. I finally told her that if she doesn't want to use these resources or try to find others that she feels might be better, that is fine; it's her life and her choice. However, I will not let her dump her misery on me anymore. </p><p></p><p>by the way, this came about after a long meltdown one night after which she was still refusing any kind of help. I told her I could see how miserable she was and I wanted better for her. Her response was, "So?! I'm not going to die!" Simply put, it's easier to do this than to have to do something that will take some work. She had said that numerous times before, but that time something clicked. I just thought, why am I killing myself trying to help her when she doesn't even care.</p><p></p><p>It seems to have worked as she has willingly gone back on medications and has talked to me about therapy. *knock on wood, throw salt, sign of the cross* Don't want to jinx it. When she was forced to own her problems instead of making them someone else's, it opened her eyes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 104767"] My difficult child is not quite 13 and if I haven't detached somewhat, I would be in a locked ward. As I tell her all the time, I can offer her the resources (therapy, medications, etc), but I simply cannot do the work for her. I can guide her, hold her hand, show her the way and be her support, but she has to take me up on the offer. I told her that no matter how much I want to be able to do it for her, I can't and even at almost 13 she has to want to help herself. I finally told her that if she doesn't want to use these resources or try to find others that she feels might be better, that is fine; it's her life and her choice. However, I will not let her dump her misery on me anymore. by the way, this came about after a long meltdown one night after which she was still refusing any kind of help. I told her I could see how miserable she was and I wanted better for her. Her response was, "So?! I'm not going to die!" Simply put, it's easier to do this than to have to do something that will take some work. She had said that numerous times before, but that time something clicked. I just thought, why am I killing myself trying to help her when she doesn't even care. It seems to have worked as she has willingly gone back on medications and has talked to me about therapy. *knock on wood, throw salt, sign of the cross* Don't want to jinx it. When she was forced to own her problems instead of making them someone else's, it opened her eyes. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Detachment - is it REALLY necessary? - long.......
Top