(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) for your little girl inside you. What a horrible childhood.
Detaching from your child is NOT the same as abandoning your child.
Detaching means, you see that your child is doing something they should not...say, stealing or doing drugs. And youdo not get involved by bailing them out. You boviously do not do this with your child if they are 8 or 12. this is for your older child, 17 or 18 and up.
Detaching is deciding that you have done all you can to raise that child, you have shown them good morals and values throughout their entire childhood, and if they decide not to follow it, fine and dandy, just not under your nose.
Detaching is letting your child sink or swim on their own. You can't be there to save them forever.
Detaching means you will always love them.
Here is a link to a great site on detaching:
http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/parenting-older-kids-scenarios-solutions.2364/#post-22685
No, you do not have to suffer.
