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To me, detachment means removing yourself from the responsibility of the outcome of your child's choices.  Let natural or logical consequences follow their course.  I don't think you ever want to cut off the emotional bond between you but don't take ownership of their choices, since you really don't have any control over them anyway.  The sooner they learn to self-regulate, the better.  Of course, it doesn't come naturally for a difficult child so the lessons take much longer.


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