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Parent Emeritus
Detachment is not that you should own nothing; it's that nothing should own you.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 639594" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Cedar...honey, you know that none of us owe our grown children a house!!! That's outrageous. Yes, they can be amateur lawyers that trick us and make us think we need to do these things, but this is not logical. It's YOUR house. He can make an apartment his sanctuary (we have) if he wants a place to live. He can work and save up for a house or a townhouse or a condo.</p><p></p><p>No parent owes a HOUSE, their HOUSE, to their child unless you want to will it to him after you are gone. And would he take care of it?</p><p></p><p>Cedar, he is a middle aged man, like my son. </p><p></p><p>I am very glad your grads love you. Of course they do. You are a wonderful person. You have gone over the edge and done flip flops to help your son get started. It seems to be that he can't or won't. Probably won't.</p><p></p><p>Try to have a peaceful, serene day and try hard not to let his amateur lawyer/guilt tactics roll through your head. He is not being fair or rational, but, yeah, if we hear something over and over again, sometimes we can sort of doubt ourselves and our good sense. Our difficult children are very good at Stockholm Syndrome. I know mine is classic at it!</p><p></p><p>Be good to a very important and worthwhile person....yourself. And do something fun with your wonderful husband who treats you the way you deserve.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 639594, member: 1550"] Cedar...honey, you know that none of us owe our grown children a house!!! That's outrageous. Yes, they can be amateur lawyers that trick us and make us think we need to do these things, but this is not logical. It's YOUR house. He can make an apartment his sanctuary (we have) if he wants a place to live. He can work and save up for a house or a townhouse or a condo. No parent owes a HOUSE, their HOUSE, to their child unless you want to will it to him after you are gone. And would he take care of it? Cedar, he is a middle aged man, like my son. I am very glad your grads love you. Of course they do. You are a wonderful person. You have gone over the edge and done flip flops to help your son get started. It seems to be that he can't or won't. Probably won't. Try to have a peaceful, serene day and try hard not to let his amateur lawyer/guilt tactics roll through your head. He is not being fair or rational, but, yeah, if we hear something over and over again, sometimes we can sort of doubt ourselves and our good sense. Our difficult children are very good at Stockholm Syndrome. I know mine is classic at it! Be good to a very important and worthwhile person....yourself. And do something fun with your wonderful husband who treats you the way you deserve. [/QUOTE]
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Detachment is not that you should own nothing; it's that nothing should own you.
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