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Detachment is not that you should own nothing; it's that nothing should own you.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 639709" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Ha! I love this.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is an interesting thing, Albatross. There was a time this past winter when I sort of lost my faith. I just didn't see things in the same way, anymore. So many bad, unpredictable things had happened, and kept happening. Over time though, I seem to have come to a different way of believing or having a different kind of faith or something. It's like I've begun to have faith without faith. No proof, no...I don't know how to describe it. This is new to me. I've already lost so much, given up on so much. (Wa wa, right?) Not to be maudlin. Just to say that all that faith kind of broke through into something that doesn't have an end game, a time I will know all is well attached.</p><p></p><p>It feels easy to remember to be present.</p><p></p><p>That would be the best way to describe it.</p><p></p><p>But it's like, I don't have so many of those old, formulaic ways of looking and seeing and defining and responding.</p><p></p><p>Like a kind of hovering, touchable thing that I a not familiar with yet.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Ha! YEP. THAT'S PRETTY MUCH WHAT HE DID SAY!</p><p></p><p>But he adds, especially when talking to husband, that he knows people whose parents have mortgaged houses to give their kids a start in life. (Something he has also asked us to do. When one of his friends, who started working in a pizza franchise while still in high school and worked his way up, over the years, to manager, wanted to buy his own franchise, the parents took out a second mortgage to stake the kid. </p><p></p><p>I know the kid?</p><p></p><p>And he was a decent, straight arrow kid even as an adolescent. Our son got this really cool job at a fancy restaurant when he was the same age? And he began using drugs. So, there you go.</p><p></p><p>Anyway...where was I.</p><p></p><p>So yeah, MWM ~ that is exactly what difficult child son did say.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is a very good thing for you to tell me, MWM. I get shaken over the idea of shelter, and of how scary it must be to be a father and not be sure whether you can keep a roof over your family's head. </p><p></p><p>This is very good for me to remember.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes! I was sort of mulling over that same kind of thing in an earlier response.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Maybe that is a piece of why difficult child son has not picked up financially. With his natural gifts, he should have been able to go pretty much where he wanted to in the world.</p><p></p><p>Thanks, MWM. We all need to help one another see as clearly as we can.</p><p></p><p>None of this is easy...and it is very easy to stay stuck in responses, or in assessments of what is happening with our adult kids, that lost their effectiveness years ago.</p><p></p><p>I do want to help difficult child son (and myself) work through this. The first step has to be to see what we can see of the places where things are blatantly wrong and start there. </p><p></p><p>I appreciate, everyone.</p><p></p><p>Thank you.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 639709, member: 17461"] Ha! I love this. :O) This is an interesting thing, Albatross. There was a time this past winter when I sort of lost my faith. I just didn't see things in the same way, anymore. So many bad, unpredictable things had happened, and kept happening. Over time though, I seem to have come to a different way of believing or having a different kind of faith or something. It's like I've begun to have faith without faith. No proof, no...I don't know how to describe it. This is new to me. I've already lost so much, given up on so much. (Wa wa, right?) Not to be maudlin. Just to say that all that faith kind of broke through into something that doesn't have an end game, a time I will know all is well attached. It feels easy to remember to be present. That would be the best way to describe it. But it's like, I don't have so many of those old, formulaic ways of looking and seeing and defining and responding. Like a kind of hovering, touchable thing that I a not familiar with yet. Ha! YEP. THAT'S PRETTY MUCH WHAT HE DID SAY! But he adds, especially when talking to husband, that he knows people whose parents have mortgaged houses to give their kids a start in life. (Something he has also asked us to do. When one of his friends, who started working in a pizza franchise while still in high school and worked his way up, over the years, to manager, wanted to buy his own franchise, the parents took out a second mortgage to stake the kid. I know the kid? And he was a decent, straight arrow kid even as an adolescent. Our son got this really cool job at a fancy restaurant when he was the same age? And he began using drugs. So, there you go. Anyway...where was I. So yeah, MWM ~ that is exactly what difficult child son did say. This is a very good thing for you to tell me, MWM. I get shaken over the idea of shelter, and of how scary it must be to be a father and not be sure whether you can keep a roof over your family's head. This is very good for me to remember. Yes! I was sort of mulling over that same kind of thing in an earlier response. Maybe that is a piece of why difficult child son has not picked up financially. With his natural gifts, he should have been able to go pretty much where he wanted to in the world. Thanks, MWM. We all need to help one another see as clearly as we can. None of this is easy...and it is very easy to stay stuck in responses, or in assessments of what is happening with our adult kids, that lost their effectiveness years ago. I do want to help difficult child son (and myself) work through this. The first step has to be to see what we can see of the places where things are blatantly wrong and start there. I appreciate, everyone. Thank you. Cedar . [/QUOTE]
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