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Substance Abuse
Detachment really is a work in progress.....
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<blockquote data-quote="Stress Bunny" data-source="post: 629392" data-attributes="member: 4855"><p>The combination of the drug relapse with the discomfort of being in jail is creating a desperation for your difficult child that he chooses to squelch by getting others to do what he wants. When that stops working, his desperation will truly be his own. You are not responsible for his choices and the situation he is in because of his choices.</p><p></p><p>If your difficult child is anything like mine, he will be shocked and surprised and indignantly offended that you are not going to pay for his mistakes in any way. I remember when we finally kicked JT off of our cell phone plan because he was using it to access porn and send/receive inappropriate text messages. It was our third time catching him, so we gave him a day or two notice, and then cancelled him. It was extremely liberating! I was so thrilled to be free from feeling upset about it any more. JT was absolutely shocked that we would do such an "unfair" thing to him, even though we had told him exactly what would happen if he continued to misuse the technology we were paying for. He was crazy mad, not at himself, though, of course. No, blame, blame, blame, is the name of the game. WE were the ones who were out of line in his world. Well, guess what? It's great to finally let JT's problems be JT's problems. </p><p></p><p>I am very proud of your efforts to work toward the same with your difficult child. I hope you are doing okay today and taking extra good care of yourself. Remember that you matter too, not just your son. You matter. Your well being is important. Know that others understand and support you here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Stress Bunny, post: 629392, member: 4855"] The combination of the drug relapse with the discomfort of being in jail is creating a desperation for your difficult child that he chooses to squelch by getting others to do what he wants. When that stops working, his desperation will truly be his own. You are not responsible for his choices and the situation he is in because of his choices. If your difficult child is anything like mine, he will be shocked and surprised and indignantly offended that you are not going to pay for his mistakes in any way. I remember when we finally kicked JT off of our cell phone plan because he was using it to access porn and send/receive inappropriate text messages. It was our third time catching him, so we gave him a day or two notice, and then cancelled him. It was extremely liberating! I was so thrilled to be free from feeling upset about it any more. JT was absolutely shocked that we would do such an "unfair" thing to him, even though we had told him exactly what would happen if he continued to misuse the technology we were paying for. He was crazy mad, not at himself, though, of course. No, blame, blame, blame, is the name of the game. WE were the ones who were out of line in his world. Well, guess what? It's great to finally let JT's problems be JT's problems. I am very proud of your efforts to work toward the same with your difficult child. I hope you are doing okay today and taking extra good care of yourself. Remember that you matter too, not just your son. You matter. Your well being is important. Know that others understand and support you here. [/QUOTE]
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Detachment really is a work in progress.....
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