So he called again tonight... had a good conversation. The thing about the sweat pants and radio and being in jail is this.....he might not be in jail if we were willing to have him come home. He told us tonight that his lawyer asked him if he had a safe place to go (like home) then he wouldnt have to be in jail. He knew home was not an option but needed to ask us anyway....he did not push it at all or try to manipulate us at all on this one. He knows where we stand and we had to tell him that no he could not come home. I dont think love gets any tougher than that... telling your kid nope you have to stay in jail because we cant let yo come home!!!
Now I know that is right and I am a bit surprised that his lawyer told him that because she knows he cant come home. And reality is this would not be a safe place because we cant police him and make sure he does not use drugs! Not only do I not want to be in that position, but I have tried that before and it never works!!!
So basically he is in jail because he doesnt have a place to go and drug court feels he needs to be kept safe and of course he is not abiding by the drug court rules.... and when they get a bed for him in a residential program (he is on a waiting list but it is about a month) he will go there. So he is not really in jail for punishment.... which is why I guess I feel ok about trying to make it a little better for him.... not a lot better but a little better. I am going to get him the sweat pants but he is going to have to wait on the raido.
And he did ask us to come visit and so we will visit.
It is such a balancing act really. I want to support and love him and not enable him. I think I actually walk that line pretty well. I dont need to punish him for his stupidity.... just being in jail is punishment enough.
TL
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