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General Parenting
detatching from the guilt
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<blockquote data-quote="Janna" data-source="post: 243290" data-attributes="member: 2737"><p>I never engaged in conversations with B or D regarding discharge. I always left that up to the "professionals". With both children, they were aware of their discharge dates early into their stays at Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) (which I do not think is ok) and the date they are given is the date.</p><p> </p><p>When the times arose if there wasn't a date for discharge yet and they would ask me, my answer was always, simply, "when you have completed working on your goals".</p><p> </p><p>So, when she calls you, upset or crying, begging to come home - throw that at her. "How are you doing working on your goals". She must have them?</p><p> </p><p>Placing a child out of your home is a load of guilt for any parent and I'm not sure how you can detach. Everyone that *hasnt* been there can talk about it and tell you to do this and that, but until you have done it, you don't *really* know how painful it is.</p><p> </p><p>Just keep trying to tell yourself you're doing this for her. And, don't get in the battles. If she's throwing on the guilt trips, politely tell her someone's at the door, something's in the oven, you gotta go. Don't let her reel you in.</p><p> </p><p>XOXOX</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Janna, post: 243290, member: 2737"] I never engaged in conversations with B or D regarding discharge. I always left that up to the "professionals". With both children, they were aware of their discharge dates early into their stays at Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) (which I do not think is ok) and the date they are given is the date. When the times arose if there wasn't a date for discharge yet and they would ask me, my answer was always, simply, "when you have completed working on your goals". So, when she calls you, upset or crying, begging to come home - throw that at her. "How are you doing working on your goals". She must have them? Placing a child out of your home is a load of guilt for any parent and I'm not sure how you can detach. Everyone that *hasnt* been there can talk about it and tell you to do this and that, but until you have done it, you don't *really* know how painful it is. Just keep trying to tell yourself you're doing this for her. And, don't get in the battles. If she's throwing on the guilt trips, politely tell her someone's at the door, something's in the oven, you gotta go. Don't let her reel you in. XOXOX [/QUOTE]
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detatching from the guilt
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