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General Parenting
detatching from the guilt
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<blockquote data-quote="bran155" data-source="post: 243430"><p>Compassion,</p><p></p><p>Hi hun. You know, I know how you feel. I have been there many times. It is completely natural for your daughter to try to play on your sympathy to get out. You must stay strong and try your hardest not to feed into that argument. When my daughter first got to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and for months after, I used to get sucked in all of the time. In the beginning her therapist wouldn't even let me talk to B on the phone without supervision. As soon as B started in on me the therapist would end our phone call because I wasn't strong enough to do it myself. It takes time. This is all very new for you right now. As time passes it will get much easier for you to set those boundaries. Your guilt is still so fresh. That will subside over time. Your feelings are very normal. And truthfully there is no magic in detaching. It took me a very long time and a lot of sleepless nights to get to where I am now. You will get there too. Just take baby steps and go one day at a time. You know in your heart everything you are doing is for your daughter's benefit. You have not made one decision without her best interest at heart. Remind yourself of that as often as needed. And ENJOY the peace!!! You and your family deserve it!!!</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. </p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>Shawna <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bran155, post: 243430"] Compassion, Hi hun. You know, I know how you feel. I have been there many times. It is completely natural for your daughter to try to play on your sympathy to get out. You must stay strong and try your hardest not to feed into that argument. When my daughter first got to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and for months after, I used to get sucked in all of the time. In the beginning her therapist wouldn't even let me talk to B on the phone without supervision. As soon as B started in on me the therapist would end our phone call because I wasn't strong enough to do it myself. It takes time. This is all very new for you right now. As time passes it will get much easier for you to set those boundaries. Your guilt is still so fresh. That will subside over time. Your feelings are very normal. And truthfully there is no magic in detaching. It took me a very long time and a lot of sleepless nights to get to where I am now. You will get there too. Just take baby steps and go one day at a time. You know in your heart everything you are doing is for your daughter's benefit. You have not made one decision without her best interest at heart. Remind yourself of that as often as needed. And ENJOY the peace!!! You and your family deserve it!!! Hang in there. (((HUGS))) Shawna :) [/QUOTE]
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