Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
DGD seems to be delusional and not getting better
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 763436" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>KSM,</p><p>I’m so sorry. If only love could save them. One would think that a mothers love would get them back on track. That love for their children would help them change, get help, do the right thing. Unfortunately, meth prevents that natural bond and affection from being the normal driving force to do what is right for the children. Meth is in the drivers seat, and addicts will do anything to be able to continue using. It’s so damn sad and disturbing. </p><p>I thought once upon a time that my daughter would change and get help. Maybe one day she will. But, looking back, in retrospect, the more we tried to help, the more she became entangled in her relationship drama, drug drama, the less she thought of her kids. We were used as a cushion for her drug use, because she knew her kids were loved and cared for by their grandparents. We gave them a home, meals, took them to school. Hubs used to complain that we were doing too much. “They can’t even get up to make sure they eat breakfast.” My grands parents slipped further and further into drug use, while we desperately focused on providing for our grands, trying to give them some sense of stability. What we didn’t realize back then, is that our “helping” allowed their parents to slip further and further into their addiction. They “had their cake and ate it too.”</p><p>I apologized to my grands for those crazy years of the revolving door our home became. We could see no other way, fearing for our own addicted daughter, their mother, also worried about the grands and how they were living. I did end up calling CPS a few times, because the erratic behavior of their parents effected our home, I feared for the safety of my grands and my household. </p><p>My grands became pawns in the drug game their parents played. It was an awful childhood for them. If, you could call it a childhood. Bouncing back in forth between homes, lacking medical and dental care. The uncertainty of where their next meal would come from, the list goes on. Their parents did not want to lose their rights either, but in the end, I believe it was more-so that they received a good amount of funds on their EBT, having three kids. They would buy food for friends and take half the value in cash, so they could buy drugs. It is an awful game.</p><p>All these kids wanted, was to be loved by their parents. All they grew up seeing, was the tragedy addiction brings.</p><p>You have a really hard decision to make. I’m sorry KSM, it’s heartbreaking. By your posts, your GDG is obviously deep into meth. She will make promises, and pull out everything in her toolbox, to yank at your heartstrings and keep you and hubs right where you are at. Addicts lie, and they lie big, to be able to keep using. They manipulate and use rage and temper tantrums when they feel their drug use is threatened. They build bonds with fellow drug users, and use the love that family has for them and their children, to get what they want. </p><p>They want to keep using. </p><p>My daughters’ and her bfs use and addiction got so bad, they ended up leaving my grands with paternal grandparents. They were there for three years, no medical or dental care, because the grandparents did not have guardianship and feared that the “system” would remove the kids. They were thinking that their son would stop using, and eventually take on his responsibility. That was six years ago.</p><p>He, and my daughter are still on the street. Their kids are 18, 16 and 14.</p><p>I’m not saying that your GDG won’t change. I’m saying that if nothing changes, why would she even try? Things are comfortable for her, her son is right where she wants him. She is right where she wants to be. Living in your home, using you and your hubs. I’m so sorry KSM, but those are just the cold, hard truths that come with this. </p><p>Sigh.</p><p>My prayers are with you and hubs, and beautiful GGS. This is a tough journey.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 763436, member: 19522"] KSM, I’m so sorry. If only love could save them. One would think that a mothers love would get them back on track. That love for their children would help them change, get help, do the right thing. Unfortunately, meth prevents that natural bond and affection from being the normal driving force to do what is right for the children. Meth is in the drivers seat, and addicts will do anything to be able to continue using. It’s so damn sad and disturbing. I thought once upon a time that my daughter would change and get help. Maybe one day she will. But, looking back, in retrospect, the more we tried to help, the more she became entangled in her relationship drama, drug drama, the less she thought of her kids. We were used as a cushion for her drug use, because she knew her kids were loved and cared for by their grandparents. We gave them a home, meals, took them to school. Hubs used to complain that we were doing too much. “They can’t even get up to make sure they eat breakfast.” My grands parents slipped further and further into drug use, while we desperately focused on providing for our grands, trying to give them some sense of stability. What we didn’t realize back then, is that our “helping” allowed their parents to slip further and further into their addiction. They “had their cake and ate it too.” I apologized to my grands for those crazy years of the revolving door our home became. We could see no other way, fearing for our own addicted daughter, their mother, also worried about the grands and how they were living. I did end up calling CPS a few times, because the erratic behavior of their parents effected our home, I feared for the safety of my grands and my household. My grands became pawns in the drug game their parents played. It was an awful childhood for them. If, you could call it a childhood. Bouncing back in forth between homes, lacking medical and dental care. The uncertainty of where their next meal would come from, the list goes on. Their parents did not want to lose their rights either, but in the end, I believe it was more-so that they received a good amount of funds on their EBT, having three kids. They would buy food for friends and take half the value in cash, so they could buy drugs. It is an awful game. All these kids wanted, was to be loved by their parents. All they grew up seeing, was the tragedy addiction brings. You have a really hard decision to make. I’m sorry KSM, it’s heartbreaking. By your posts, your GDG is obviously deep into meth. She will make promises, and pull out everything in her toolbox, to yank at your heartstrings and keep you and hubs right where you are at. Addicts lie, and they lie big, to be able to keep using. They manipulate and use rage and temper tantrums when they feel their drug use is threatened. They build bonds with fellow drug users, and use the love that family has for them and their children, to get what they want. They want to keep using. My daughters’ and her bfs use and addiction got so bad, they ended up leaving my grands with paternal grandparents. They were there for three years, no medical or dental care, because the grandparents did not have guardianship and feared that the “system” would remove the kids. They were thinking that their son would stop using, and eventually take on his responsibility. That was six years ago. He, and my daughter are still on the street. Their kids are 18, 16 and 14. I’m not saying that your GDG won’t change. I’m saying that if nothing changes, why would she even try? Things are comfortable for her, her son is right where she wants him. She is right where she wants to be. Living in your home, using you and your hubs. I’m so sorry KSM, but those are just the cold, hard truths that come with this. Sigh. My prayers are with you and hubs, and beautiful GGS. This is a tough journey. (((Hugs))) Leaf [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
DGD seems to be delusional and not getting better
Top