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Did I do the right thing?
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 558692" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>JKF, yes you made the right choice even though it feels so very wrong. Sometimes we just have to do something like this to put the brakes on them. If you bail him out you have no way of knowing he wont run. In fact, in your case I would bet good money he would then you would be on the hook for the entire bond. I doubt you have 10K laying round to throw away. </p><p></p><p>Our kids have never had to really get the idea that consequences belong to them. For the most part they skate by with either a slap on the wrist or us parents ending up going through more pain than they do. It seemed to me that when it was Cory that the consequences got more painful for than they were for us that he started to change. It was no longer me that had to go face judges and therapists or schools. It was him and they were going to lock him up, not me. That got through to him in a way that no amount of lecturing from me ever did. Cory doesnt like cages and spending some time in jail has changed him for the better. </p><p></p><p>You can call the prosecutor but dont expect them to listen much to you. Your son is over 18 and the most they will probably do is subpoena his medical and mental health records. I doubt his diagnosis's will be bad enough to actually get him out of the charges but I dont know if he actually has an adult record. If he doesnt, most likely he will be placed on probation and ordered to pay restitution. The issue there is he will need somewhere to be released to and you have to stand strong on not letting him come home.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 558692, member: 1514"] JKF, yes you made the right choice even though it feels so very wrong. Sometimes we just have to do something like this to put the brakes on them. If you bail him out you have no way of knowing he wont run. In fact, in your case I would bet good money he would then you would be on the hook for the entire bond. I doubt you have 10K laying round to throw away. Our kids have never had to really get the idea that consequences belong to them. For the most part they skate by with either a slap on the wrist or us parents ending up going through more pain than they do. It seemed to me that when it was Cory that the consequences got more painful for than they were for us that he started to change. It was no longer me that had to go face judges and therapists or schools. It was him and they were going to lock him up, not me. That got through to him in a way that no amount of lecturing from me ever did. Cory doesnt like cages and spending some time in jail has changed him for the better. You can call the prosecutor but dont expect them to listen much to you. Your son is over 18 and the most they will probably do is subpoena his medical and mental health records. I doubt his diagnosis's will be bad enough to actually get him out of the charges but I dont know if he actually has an adult record. If he doesnt, most likely he will be placed on probation and ordered to pay restitution. The issue there is he will need somewhere to be released to and you have to stand strong on not letting him come home. [/QUOTE]
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