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Family of Origin
Did I give birth to an unicorn? Or three easy steps to become a guru
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 664714" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>To be clear the gender of this grandchild doesn't come out from the article. It's written in language that does not differ between genders grammatically (in other words, no separate he/she-words nor any other grammatical things that would somehow show gender) and grandchild is not named nor called either granddaughter or -son. He may have used either of my sons or third, imagined, grandchild as an inspiration for this enlighten guide grandchild.</p><p></p><p>However, neither of my sons admit having talked anything relating any of this with my dad.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I have to admit that being called mundane does hit the nerve, which makes it more difficult for me to look at it from my dad's view point.</p><p></p><p>My unique set of abilities, talents and interest were always a disappointment for both my parents. While many parents would have likely been very happy having socially appropriate, quite rule following athletic daughter who did very well at school and excelled especially in STEM subjects, for my parents my lack of artistic talent or flare was a huge disappointment. </p><p></p><p>And while I can relate to the feeling of having a kid that is not what you asked or hoped for, I do think I have dealt with those feelings related to Ache being Ache much better than they did. I understand the frustration and the thought that comes to your mind that how come my child couldn't be more like what I hoped for, but my mom and dad wouldn't had needed to be so explicit, hurtful and mean about it. </p><p></p><p>Though to be fair I have many times hoped my parents wouldn't be who they are and I fear I have told that to them few times. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you needed to come to that conclusion relating your mom and sister. I do not think it is true with my dad. i do believe he does love me, as much as he can and in the way he can. </p><p></p><p>I may wish it would be more conventional father-daughter-relationship, but I can't deny that he loves me. As much as he is capable.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>To be fair I very much doubt he was planning ditching me. He just is very impulsive and runs hot and cold. It is not calculation, but reality, as he sees it, changing. </p><p></p><p>He did ditch me after he found love. I assume he wanted so much to be part of her world, to please her, live that story, that there simply wasn't room for me, my family and especially things I represent for him. Not in the open at least. Again, I was still in his work, just very covered way. I also doubt he was in any way planning ditching me when he was painting that wolf.</p><p></p><p>Don't get me wrong, that whole thing still hurts. I was beyond angry at the time and that rage hasn't totally died out. But6 dealing with my dad requires dealing how he sees this world and his point of view simply is very different. And for example, when it comes to his art, that is ends for him. He wouldn't sacrifice it to be means, wouldn't paint anything as a means for some other end. On the other hand, he could use almost anything as a means for his art.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>In some ways I feel opposite. My dad needs me to be this stronghold, this constant, even true north to tell where he is in. Or well, image of me. Real me and image or me are not the same, though I do believe my dad believes so. And I have to say that at times he does see sides of me that I often don't acknowledge existing.</p><p></p><p>But definitely I'm used by him for his own ends.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 664714, member: 14557"] To be clear the gender of this grandchild doesn't come out from the article. It's written in language that does not differ between genders grammatically (in other words, no separate he/she-words nor any other grammatical things that would somehow show gender) and grandchild is not named nor called either granddaughter or -son. He may have used either of my sons or third, imagined, grandchild as an inspiration for this enlighten guide grandchild. However, neither of my sons admit having talked anything relating any of this with my dad. I have to admit that being called mundane does hit the nerve, which makes it more difficult for me to look at it from my dad's view point. My unique set of abilities, talents and interest were always a disappointment for both my parents. While many parents would have likely been very happy having socially appropriate, quite rule following athletic daughter who did very well at school and excelled especially in STEM subjects, for my parents my lack of artistic talent or flare was a huge disappointment. And while I can relate to the feeling of having a kid that is not what you asked or hoped for, I do think I have dealt with those feelings related to Ache being Ache much better than they did. I understand the frustration and the thought that comes to your mind that how come my child couldn't be more like what I hoped for, but my mom and dad wouldn't had needed to be so explicit, hurtful and mean about it. Though to be fair I have many times hoped my parents wouldn't be who they are and I fear I have told that to them few times. I'm sorry you needed to come to that conclusion relating your mom and sister. I do not think it is true with my dad. i do believe he does love me, as much as he can and in the way he can. I may wish it would be more conventional father-daughter-relationship, but I can't deny that he loves me. As much as he is capable. To be fair I very much doubt he was planning ditching me. He just is very impulsive and runs hot and cold. It is not calculation, but reality, as he sees it, changing. He did ditch me after he found love. I assume he wanted so much to be part of her world, to please her, live that story, that there simply wasn't room for me, my family and especially things I represent for him. Not in the open at least. Again, I was still in his work, just very covered way. I also doubt he was in any way planning ditching me when he was painting that wolf. Don't get me wrong, that whole thing still hurts. I was beyond angry at the time and that rage hasn't totally died out. But6 dealing with my dad requires dealing how he sees this world and his point of view simply is very different. And for example, when it comes to his art, that is ends for him. He wouldn't sacrifice it to be means, wouldn't paint anything as a means for some other end. On the other hand, he could use almost anything as a means for his art. In some ways I feel opposite. My dad needs me to be this stronghold, this constant, even true north to tell where he is in. Or well, image of me. Real me and image or me are not the same, though I do believe my dad believes so. And I have to say that at times he does see sides of me that I often don't acknowledge existing. But definitely I'm used by him for his own ends. [/QUOTE]
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