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Did I give birth to an unicorn? Or three easy steps to become a guru
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 665093" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Yes, I believe this handicapped man is me or M. His eyes are brown. M's are brown. Mine are hazel-brown. </p><p></p><p>So here we are. Affluent shoppers v.s. tell about life, wise and special tales. </p><p></p><p>Each of us, M and I have lived this way. We have chosen this road. </p><p></p><p>So maybe I understand the compulsive shopping since my mother's death....another do over.</p><p></p><p>Cedar, what would be your take, if the handicapped man is either M or myself?</p><p></p><p>It is a sad story, separating from my Mother and sister, in life. Trying to do whatever, at whatever price to find them to get a chance to live life again, with them, even if it had been the wrong direction, for me, my self. </p><p></p><p>I think this is what I must be doing over and over again. Trying to go back and do it over again. Each time I get up to live, now, from bed, I pull myself up from bed only to force myself back...to re-unite with my mother and sister. Where on some level I want to be. </p><p></p><p>How do I accept it is too late? How do I accept that I made a choice that cannot be changed? How do I accept I might have even made the right choice for myself? I am trying to walk it back. </p><p></p><p>What if I really do own how I lived my life? What would be the cost of saying out right I chose my life. No matter what. I chose my life because there had been no other way to have had it.</p><p></p><p>That had I subordinated myself to my Mother and sister, their values and rules it would have been a horrible, defeated and sad life.</p><p></p><p>And even though my life has had its sadness, handicaps, defeats, limits and self-deceptions--<em>it was mine. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p>This is what I have not yet gotten to.<em> The place where I can say: I chose to go my own way. Because that was my way. </em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 665093, member: 18958"] Yes, I believe this handicapped man is me or M. His eyes are brown. M's are brown. Mine are hazel-brown. So here we are. Affluent shoppers v.s. tell about life, wise and special tales. Each of us, M and I have lived this way. We have chosen this road. So maybe I understand the compulsive shopping since my mother's death....another do over. Cedar, what would be your take, if the handicapped man is either M or myself? It is a sad story, separating from my Mother and sister, in life. Trying to do whatever, at whatever price to find them to get a chance to live life again, with them, even if it had been the wrong direction, for me, my self. I think this is what I must be doing over and over again. Trying to go back and do it over again. Each time I get up to live, now, from bed, I pull myself up from bed only to force myself back...to re-unite with my mother and sister. Where on some level I want to be. How do I accept it is too late? How do I accept that I made a choice that cannot be changed? How do I accept I might have even made the right choice for myself? I am trying to walk it back. What if I really do own how I lived my life? What would be the cost of saying out right I chose my life. No matter what. I chose my life because there had been no other way to have had it. That had I subordinated myself to my Mother and sister, their values and rules it would have been a horrible, defeated and sad life. And even though my life has had its sadness, handicaps, defeats, limits and self-deceptions--[I]it was mine. [/I] This is what I have not yet gotten to.[I] The place where I can say: I chose to go my own way. Because that was my way. [/I] [/QUOTE]
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Did I give birth to an unicorn? Or three easy steps to become a guru
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