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Family of Origin
Did I give birth to an unicorn? Or three easy steps to become a guru
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 665112" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I had a blessing in having my grandparents in my life. They were not without their issues, and now as an adult I have better understanding over how their issues carried to my mom's life, but when I was a kid, they were stable and grandpa also very strong individual. When I came along they had already matured out some of their more troublesome issues and they also really made an effort to be there for me.</p><p></p><p>My mom, who was my primary care giver, was not stable nor safe, but in her own way she was loving. She could be very selfish and did lots of things that hurt me, but we had also many really great moments together.</p><p></p><p>That and often having access to my grandparents helped me a lot. My mom did go no contact with her parents and denied them from me too every now and then but even during those times I had their phone number and that brought me feeling of safety. I could maybe not actually call them, but I knew that if things got really, really bad I would call and they would answer.</p><p></p><p>I have read studies that imply that even just one stable, safe and loving relationship to an adult through childhood can save a child living in chaos and I had that. And life I had built to myself has been very safe and stable so that has helped a lot too when it comes my adult relationship with my parents (my mom died over ten years ago, but we ended up having quite good relationship in the end. He was much better mom to an adult daughter than for a child.)</p><p></p><p>But I guess it was mostly a grandpa that helped me to grow up somewhat sane and stable adult.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 665112, member: 14557"] I had a blessing in having my grandparents in my life. They were not without their issues, and now as an adult I have better understanding over how their issues carried to my mom's life, but when I was a kid, they were stable and grandpa also very strong individual. When I came along they had already matured out some of their more troublesome issues and they also really made an effort to be there for me. My mom, who was my primary care giver, was not stable nor safe, but in her own way she was loving. She could be very selfish and did lots of things that hurt me, but we had also many really great moments together. That and often having access to my grandparents helped me a lot. My mom did go no contact with her parents and denied them from me too every now and then but even during those times I had their phone number and that brought me feeling of safety. I could maybe not actually call them, but I knew that if things got really, really bad I would call and they would answer. I have read studies that imply that even just one stable, safe and loving relationship to an adult through childhood can save a child living in chaos and I had that. And life I had built to myself has been very safe and stable so that has helped a lot too when it comes my adult relationship with my parents (my mom died over ten years ago, but we ended up having quite good relationship in the end. He was much better mom to an adult daughter than for a child.) But I guess it was mostly a grandpa that helped me to grow up somewhat sane and stable adult. [/QUOTE]
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Did I give birth to an unicorn? Or three easy steps to become a guru
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