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Family of Origin
Did I give birth to an unicorn? Or three easy steps to become a guru
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 665114" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think what we are struggling with here, Cedar, and I and Swot, is whether or not we survived or not. Suzir, your perception of yourself is as having been saved, by your stable relationships with grandparents or intrinsic strengths or good enough mothering...is what is in doubt in my case. I do not know if I was saved or not.</p><p></p><p>I also am guessing that Cedar and I and SWOT are older.</p><p></p><p>I will speak only for myself. I guess I am deciding now whether to see my life as I lived it as viable and worthy of accepting as well-lived or not.</p><p></p><p>Was I saved or not, as a child?</p><p></p><p>And I am struggling with just who is the decider or what decides it. Whether I am and my life has been worthy or not.</p><p></p><p>Because haven broken down as I have, seems to point to an internalized quite severe conflict. That existed my whole life, only being revealed just now. That perhaps I had been so damaged as to have been broken. And lived life limping along, as if handicapped, going through the motions of what would like like living and achieving...but broken nonetheless.</p><p></p><p>Now, I wonder if this could describe everybody. Look at Donald Trump, who lives his life declaring he is a winner. Because of the money, and women and power he has amassed in his life...to combat his sense deep inside that he is anything but...a winner.</p><p></p><p>I am back to what Cedar says that we erect these physical manifestations of what we struggle with internally.</p><p></p><p>For Trump, Trump Towers...</p><p></p><p>Brokenness, for me. When you look at it, how Freudian.</p><p></p><p>It is really back to half empty or half full. There has to be a day of reckoning of deciding. Whether or not there is more evidence. There must be a decision. A matter of justice and will. Do I save myself or not?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 665114, member: 18958"] I think what we are struggling with here, Cedar, and I and Swot, is whether or not we survived or not. Suzir, your perception of yourself is as having been saved, by your stable relationships with grandparents or intrinsic strengths or good enough mothering...is what is in doubt in my case. I do not know if I was saved or not. I also am guessing that Cedar and I and SWOT are older. I will speak only for myself. I guess I am deciding now whether to see my life as I lived it as viable and worthy of accepting as well-lived or not. Was I saved or not, as a child? And I am struggling with just who is the decider or what decides it. Whether I am and my life has been worthy or not. Because haven broken down as I have, seems to point to an internalized quite severe conflict. That existed my whole life, only being revealed just now. That perhaps I had been so damaged as to have been broken. And lived life limping along, as if handicapped, going through the motions of what would like like living and achieving...but broken nonetheless. Now, I wonder if this could describe everybody. Look at Donald Trump, who lives his life declaring he is a winner. Because of the money, and women and power he has amassed in his life...to combat his sense deep inside that he is anything but...a winner. I am back to what Cedar says that we erect these physical manifestations of what we struggle with internally. For Trump, Trump Towers... Brokenness, for me. When you look at it, how Freudian. It is really back to half empty or half full. There has to be a day of reckoning of deciding. Whether or not there is more evidence. There must be a decision. A matter of justice and will. Do I save myself or not? [/QUOTE]
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Did I give birth to an unicorn? Or three easy steps to become a guru
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