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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 553171" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>We talk about this a lot in the groups I occasionally attend. I will 'float' around and it always comes up lol!!! WHY do we feel so guilty about our children making bad choices? I certainly did!</p><p></p><p>GitPicker, I have family members with 25yo, 35yo, and around 45yo that are perfectly content to sleep on the sofa and spend all of their time and money on alcohol, drugs, and partying. One's mother drives him to work and picks him up 'cause his license has been suspended. He could apply for a new one now BUT with his only 20 hour a week job and child support he can't afford it. Has it ever crossed his mind to either find a new job or find another part time. No, that would interfer with his drinking lol!!!</p><p></p><p>My 34yo difficult child has had so many chances and he STILL has problems. You have to learn to detach and let them learn from their mistakes. I wish I had learned to detach sooner than I did. You can not make them do anything - you can only control your life - and you deserve to have a life.</p><p></p><p>This is a great book written by a family therapist, it makes me feel stronger when I feel weak.</p><p><a href="http://www.support4change.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=131&Itemid=177/5/12.html" target="_blank">http://www.support4change.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=131&Itemid=177/5/12.html</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 553171, member: 13558"] We talk about this a lot in the groups I occasionally attend. I will 'float' around and it always comes up lol!!! WHY do we feel so guilty about our children making bad choices? I certainly did! GitPicker, I have family members with 25yo, 35yo, and around 45yo that are perfectly content to sleep on the sofa and spend all of their time and money on alcohol, drugs, and partying. One's mother drives him to work and picks him up 'cause his license has been suspended. He could apply for a new one now BUT with his only 20 hour a week job and child support he can't afford it. Has it ever crossed his mind to either find a new job or find another part time. No, that would interfer with his drinking lol!!! My 34yo difficult child has had so many chances and he STILL has problems. You have to learn to detach and let them learn from their mistakes. I wish I had learned to detach sooner than I did. You can not make them do anything - you can only control your life - and you deserve to have a life. This is a great book written by a family therapist, it makes me feel stronger when I feel weak. [URL]http://www.support4change.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=131&Itemid=177/5/12.html[/URL] [/QUOTE]
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