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Substance Abuse
Didn't want it to come to this, might be asking difficult child to leave
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 646614" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Warm hugs from me to you right now. What you did last night is so very hard to do, and then, like you did, you lie in bed and question every word, every nuance, every other thing you possibly could do and could have done. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>He didn't say please help me, I want to change, and I can't do it on my own. That would have completely changed everything that followed. </p><p></p><p>What he did say when asked is: "I don't know." The real answer is, because the drugs right now mean more to me than anything else in my life.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Reference the above. <u><strong>Until he truly wants to stop</strong></u>, the environment doesn't matter. You were 100 percent correct in saying he found drugs while staying in your house so that proves the point. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>You did do the right thing. Often, Origami, the right thing is the hardest thing. The wrong thing is very often the easier thing.</p><p></p><p>Telling your own son to leave your house is one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life. I know you have done it before, and I'm just so sorry you are right now having to do it again.</p><p></p><p>I so agree that giving him an old suitcase, and some provisions, whatever those may be, is another humane thing to do.</p><p></p><p>He is not a bad person. He is a good person in the iron grip of a terrible, awful disease that will only end in jail, death or a mental institution if he can't somehow find a way to stop.</p><p></p><p>Leaving him to his own devices as much as you possibly can is the way to free up space and distance and a chance for him to hit rock bottom and decide he wants to change. </p><p></p><p>You are doing the right thing. That is why it is so so so so so so hard. It literally wrenches your heart from your chest while doing it, and after, but it is the right thing, in my humble opinion.</p><p></p><p>You are going to feel awful about this. Remember: Feelings Aren't Facts. Think about that phrase a lot and work to live into it. Meaning: feel your feelings but don't act on them. Let time go by. Wait. Silence is your best friend right now. Hit the pillow, walk around the block 100 times, cry your eyes out. Feel your feelings. But don't act on them.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting here. We get it and we care about you and about him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 646614, member: 17542"] Warm hugs from me to you right now. What you did last night is so very hard to do, and then, like you did, you lie in bed and question every word, every nuance, every other thing you possibly could do and could have done. He didn't say please help me, I want to change, and I can't do it on my own. That would have completely changed everything that followed. What he did say when asked is: "I don't know." The real answer is, because the drugs right now mean more to me than anything else in my life. Reference the above. [U][B]Until he truly wants to stop[/B][/U], the environment doesn't matter. You were 100 percent correct in saying he found drugs while staying in your house so that proves the point. You did do the right thing. Often, Origami, the right thing is the hardest thing. The wrong thing is very often the easier thing. Telling your own son to leave your house is one of the hardest things you will ever do in your life. I know you have done it before, and I'm just so sorry you are right now having to do it again. I so agree that giving him an old suitcase, and some provisions, whatever those may be, is another humane thing to do. He is not a bad person. He is a good person in the iron grip of a terrible, awful disease that will only end in jail, death or a mental institution if he can't somehow find a way to stop. Leaving him to his own devices as much as you possibly can is the way to free up space and distance and a chance for him to hit rock bottom and decide he wants to change. You are doing the right thing. That is why it is so so so so so so hard. It literally wrenches your heart from your chest while doing it, and after, but it is the right thing, in my humble opinion. You are going to feel awful about this. Remember: Feelings Aren't Facts. Think about that phrase a lot and work to live into it. Meaning: feel your feelings but don't act on them. Let time go by. Wait. Silence is your best friend right now. Hit the pillow, walk around the block 100 times, cry your eyes out. Feel your feelings. But don't act on them. Keep posting here. We get it and we care about you and about him. [/QUOTE]
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