That last paragraph is so bang on that I'd love to find a way to brand it to the desk of every diagnostician.
The line between severe ADHD and less-severe Aspie is... a line in the sand, somebody's definition, of a way to distinguish. But it's hard to split hairs right at that line.
However... a child can have more pieces out of sync and be ADHD, than an Aspie with milder symptoms of many pieces but serious social deficits. It isn't really a nice clean line of less or more severe.
My take on ADHD and social skills? ADHD kids don't "notice" non-verbal or sometimes even verbal clues, because they act or react first, where if they stopped and thought, they would understand how they should have reacted. Aspies... either don't understand the clues, or cannot process them nearly fast enough for practical use in interaction with others.
Our psychiatrist looks for two main clues...
1) serious social deficits
2) other challenges - even if minor - starting before age 3 (motor skills, speach, etc.) - obvious at least in hindsight.
