You are doing everything you can, Marg. I just wish you didn't have to go through this. You know my son, despite adhd (and odd at home) is very shy and never "hits" back when the boys wrestle with him at school. I've seen it, he just sort of puts his hands on his head to protect himself. He is just so afraid all the time. He is hyper sensitive to things and says "so and so beats up on me" when I know it's simply they are "normal" active boys who push and wrestle. I've seen the boys do it to each other but difficult child never had brothers or cousins growing up to learn that with. I think if he were every truly attacked like your difficult child 3 it would tramatize him significantly.
Thank you for keeping us up to date with this. How is he doing today?
Hugs,
MicheleL