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difficult child 3 attacked again
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<blockquote data-quote="1 Day At a Time" data-source="post: 69494" data-attributes="member: 3704"><p>Marguerite,</p><p></p><p>Please do keep us in the loop of what happens in your community regarding this situation. I personally believe that a true measure of a culture is the way those in the culture with little or no voice are treated. I have much sadness regarding this issue in my culture - we have so far to go! This starts at home and most definitely with our children. Ten years old is definitely not too young - in fact - it may be almost too old. But I'm an optimist and I believe that it is never too late to start an educational process.</p><p></p><p>The time I was most proud of easy child was when a neighbor called me to thank me for something he was doing. At the time we had many kids on our street - all of them around the same age. Big groups of them would walk to school together every morning. By the luck of the draw, most of the kids were boys - and my neighbor had a daughter. She thanked me because she said easy child was the only kid who would walk with her daughter and talk with her. She was feeling very ostrasized because, she was a girl!</p><p></p><p>The shoe is on the other foot now, though, I know that all of those guys are kicking themselves. The neighbor's daughter has grown into a knockout beauty who spends summers in Milan modeling and is in college in L.A. trying to kickstart her acting career. Who knew?</p><p></p><p>I've never been a big fan of big groups of kids. Some kids who are quite nice one on one change into a different person when they get into a large group with their peers. It seems like the lowest common denominator takes over and takes charge of everyone in the group. So often the negative qualities have the most strength. It's often not a pretty situation.</p><p></p><p>I think it is up to the adults in the community/culture to ensure that this well known quality in children is now allowed to manifest itself. "Boys will boys" and "I had to deal with it when I was young, it made me tougher" just doesn't fly. Kids need to be kept occupied and busy. They also CAN be taught to know what empathy is - we all know that it just doesn't come naturally. When difficult child was in the 5th grade his class spent all year studying about "personal qualities". They had 7 personal qualities to study, such as persistence, goal setting, being a friend, etc. They wrote little screenplays and made very professional videos of the screenplays. (One of the parents is a film maker and he worked with them). At the end of the year, they had a "screening" of their videos with most of the community present. They had also painted a huge mural with each of the "qualities" portrayed. I personally believe that this course of study has made a huge difference for these kids. No one preached to them, they investigated the subject matter for themselves and had fun while they did it. O.K.... off of my soapbox for now :smile:</p><p></p><p>I am thinking good thoughts that there is a positive solution to this frightening experience and that your community can be healed!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="1 Day At a Time, post: 69494, member: 3704"] Marguerite, Please do keep us in the loop of what happens in your community regarding this situation. I personally believe that a true measure of a culture is the way those in the culture with little or no voice are treated. I have much sadness regarding this issue in my culture - we have so far to go! This starts at home and most definitely with our children. Ten years old is definitely not too young - in fact - it may be almost too old. But I'm an optimist and I believe that it is never too late to start an educational process. The time I was most proud of easy child was when a neighbor called me to thank me for something he was doing. At the time we had many kids on our street - all of them around the same age. Big groups of them would walk to school together every morning. By the luck of the draw, most of the kids were boys - and my neighbor had a daughter. She thanked me because she said easy child was the only kid who would walk with her daughter and talk with her. She was feeling very ostrasized because, she was a girl! The shoe is on the other foot now, though, I know that all of those guys are kicking themselves. The neighbor's daughter has grown into a knockout beauty who spends summers in Milan modeling and is in college in L.A. trying to kickstart her acting career. Who knew? I've never been a big fan of big groups of kids. Some kids who are quite nice one on one change into a different person when they get into a large group with their peers. It seems like the lowest common denominator takes over and takes charge of everyone in the group. So often the negative qualities have the most strength. It's often not a pretty situation. I think it is up to the adults in the community/culture to ensure that this well known quality in children is now allowed to manifest itself. "Boys will boys" and "I had to deal with it when I was young, it made me tougher" just doesn't fly. Kids need to be kept occupied and busy. They also CAN be taught to know what empathy is - we all know that it just doesn't come naturally. When difficult child was in the 5th grade his class spent all year studying about "personal qualities". They had 7 personal qualities to study, such as persistence, goal setting, being a friend, etc. They wrote little screenplays and made very professional videos of the screenplays. (One of the parents is a film maker and he worked with them). At the end of the year, they had a "screening" of their videos with most of the community present. They had also painted a huge mural with each of the "qualities" portrayed. I personally believe that this course of study has made a huge difference for these kids. No one preached to them, they investigated the subject matter for themselves and had fun while they did it. O.K.... off of my soapbox for now [img]:smile:[/img] I am thinking good thoughts that there is a positive solution to this frightening experience and that your community can be healed! [/QUOTE]
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