I am sorry, I got the age wrong. I just added this to the post above but realized you would not see it. (See below.)
I am not questioning the psychiatrist but I do similar work. There is a vast difference in competencies, one from the other. I mentioned Childrens Hospitals. But University Psychiatry Clinics would be good, too.
I do not want to burden you with suggestions. I am kind of sorry I did. Because your burden already is so great. But this situation is largely beyond your control. It should not be in your hands to solve. But if you don't reach out to make changes, what will change? First. Nobody on earth could be adequately handling this situation, and the expectation of yourself, that you should is cruel and burdensome. This is the time when you need to nurture and to protect yourself. You are holding everything together. It is like that globe symbol, that is in a woman's hands. That is you right now. You can't start mother-bashing. The situation is tough as it is. Now is the time to be your best friend.
You are failing nobody. But if you are hard on yourself, you are failing yourself. This is easy to solve. Just stop it.
