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<blockquote data-quote="WearyMomof2" data-source="post: 742632" data-attributes="member: 23447"><p>Their custody agreement mandates both parents have to consent to medical treatment including therapy. After the first incident, the boys' mother blamed the therapist and withdrew consent. She had our therapist served with legal papers, we weren't even notified. It took mediation to agree on a new therapist and she insisted on one who only wasn't also treating my son. There's been a lot of discussion about what's best for the boys verses what's best for our family. When it comes to legal custody matters of my stepsons, the courts only concern is the best interest of the boys, not our family. </p><p></p><p>Over the last 1.5 years my husband has been in custody mediation with his ex wife 3 times, primarily over what she says are 'safety issues' at our house, which is code for my son. The ex used our house rule against tattling against us, saying she was being kept in the dark about the danger my son posed to her kids. After my stepson got the black eye, my husband agreed to all of his ex's terms. She told our inlaws she was willing to do spend whatever it took on legal fees to keep the boys safe and my inlaws supported her. The boys' mother had all sorts of new 'safety' rules regarding babysitting, proper supervision, and other things like the boys needed to have a separate bedroom from my son that could lock. There was nothing in the custody agreement about making things better between all of our boys, just keeping her boys safe from my son. Any physical altercation between our boys was brought up with the mediator, even a few times between my son and the 2nd youngest that were just normal childhood behavior. His ex acts like we aren't doing anything about my son and the only option for her is to go to court and force my husband to act.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I agree my husband's ex is too big of a part of our family. The boys constantly text with their mom during their time with us. The custody agreement mandates the boys have the ability to communicate with both parents. Unlimited cellphone use isn't explicitly mandated but my husband won't take their phones away because he doesn't want his ex to do the same to him. She pays for their cell phones and the boys text him all the time too. When my son smashed the youngest pumpkin, the boys sent their mom a video of their little brother crying. My son was upset, our daughter was upset and the 8 year old was hamming it up so we weren't rewarding him for it. Then my husband gets a text from the ex about the situation. The ex wants to make it out like anytime we have an issue between the boys like this, it could have been dangerous for the younger boy so her intervention is to protect him. That's what makes me so mad, the boys are constantly told by their mother they need protection from my son.</p><p></p><p>This ex has said if there's another physical altercation between my son and her son(s), she will call the police and file for full custody. My inlaws have said they will help her get full custody to protect their grandsons. My inlaws' opinion have really affected the way my husband feels. He isn't so willing to fight his ex for custody matters. He is more willing now to just let the boys go to their mom's when they want to, he says he doesn't want to force them to be where they don't want to be. I believe that's the main issue, my stepsons aren't accepting of my son because they have choice not to have to deal with it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WearyMomof2, post: 742632, member: 23447"] Their custody agreement mandates both parents have to consent to medical treatment including therapy. After the first incident, the boys' mother blamed the therapist and withdrew consent. She had our therapist served with legal papers, we weren't even notified. It took mediation to agree on a new therapist and she insisted on one who only wasn't also treating my son. There's been a lot of discussion about what's best for the boys verses what's best for our family. When it comes to legal custody matters of my stepsons, the courts only concern is the best interest of the boys, not our family. Over the last 1.5 years my husband has been in custody mediation with his ex wife 3 times, primarily over what she says are 'safety issues' at our house, which is code for my son. The ex used our house rule against tattling against us, saying she was being kept in the dark about the danger my son posed to her kids. After my stepson got the black eye, my husband agreed to all of his ex's terms. She told our inlaws she was willing to do spend whatever it took on legal fees to keep the boys safe and my inlaws supported her. The boys' mother had all sorts of new 'safety' rules regarding babysitting, proper supervision, and other things like the boys needed to have a separate bedroom from my son that could lock. There was nothing in the custody agreement about making things better between all of our boys, just keeping her boys safe from my son. Any physical altercation between our boys was brought up with the mediator, even a few times between my son and the 2nd youngest that were just normal childhood behavior. His ex acts like we aren't doing anything about my son and the only option for her is to go to court and force my husband to act. I agree my husband's ex is too big of a part of our family. The boys constantly text with their mom during their time with us. The custody agreement mandates the boys have the ability to communicate with both parents. Unlimited cellphone use isn't explicitly mandated but my husband won't take their phones away because he doesn't want his ex to do the same to him. She pays for their cell phones and the boys text him all the time too. When my son smashed the youngest pumpkin, the boys sent their mom a video of their little brother crying. My son was upset, our daughter was upset and the 8 year old was hamming it up so we weren't rewarding him for it. Then my husband gets a text from the ex about the situation. The ex wants to make it out like anytime we have an issue between the boys like this, it could have been dangerous for the younger boy so her intervention is to protect him. That's what makes me so mad, the boys are constantly told by their mother they need protection from my son. This ex has said if there's another physical altercation between my son and her son(s), she will call the police and file for full custody. My inlaws have said they will help her get full custody to protect their grandsons. My inlaws' opinion have really affected the way my husband feels. He isn't so willing to fight his ex for custody matters. He is more willing now to just let the boys go to their mom's when they want to, he says he doesn't want to force them to be where they don't want to be. I believe that's the main issue, my stepsons aren't accepting of my son because they have choice not to have to deal with it. [/QUOTE]
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