Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
difficult child Behavior I Hate The Most
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 478927" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Bunny!</p><p>There's your clue!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>difficult child is 12. easy child is 7.</p><p></p><p>At 7, kids are far more responsive than at 12.</p><p>I went through literally dozens of parenting books, and found small tidbits here and there that were useful, even if the whole book wasn't...</p><p>One great idea was this: (this is the original, for easy child kids... see notes below for difficult children...)</p><p></p><p>** Once kids get to be tweens, they are wanting some control, some responsibility, and some flexibility. Direct orders tend to be rebelled against. Try putting a time parameter into the request, or posing it as a question... "Johnny, please get your teeth brushed in the next 15 minutes", or "Johnny, what time do you plan to get your tooth-brushing done?"</p><p></p><p>** difficult child kids, of course, are notorious for making sure these tactics don't work either. But... sometimes they do, and its worth a try.</p><p></p><p>For our difficult child... we started with the "15 minute" thing. Now, its day-parts (morning, afternoon, evening)... "Johnny, recycling needs to be collected, when do you plan to do it?"... I'll usually get "later"... "no, I need a <em>plan... morning, afternoon, or evening..."</em> and he will actually pick one. Half the time, it gets done. The other half, I give him a 15-min reminder toward the end of the time period (e.g. just before supper... recycling not done yet, you have 15 mins). THAT works about another 50%. So, I'm getting 75% compliance. The other 25%? usually there's something else going on that I need to get to the bottom of, before he's in any shape to be interacting on a normal level with the rest of the world.</p><p></p><p>But try and get away from the kinds of direct orders that work for a 7 y/o. difficult child is 12. It wouldn't necessarily be working well with a easy child at 12! GFGism just makes it worse.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 478927, member: 11791"] Bunny! There's your clue! difficult child is 12. easy child is 7. At 7, kids are far more responsive than at 12. I went through literally dozens of parenting books, and found small tidbits here and there that were useful, even if the whole book wasn't... One great idea was this: (this is the original, for easy child kids... see notes below for difficult children...) ** Once kids get to be tweens, they are wanting some control, some responsibility, and some flexibility. Direct orders tend to be rebelled against. Try putting a time parameter into the request, or posing it as a question... "Johnny, please get your teeth brushed in the next 15 minutes", or "Johnny, what time do you plan to get your tooth-brushing done?" ** difficult child kids, of course, are notorious for making sure these tactics don't work either. But... sometimes they do, and its worth a try. For our difficult child... we started with the "15 minute" thing. Now, its day-parts (morning, afternoon, evening)... "Johnny, recycling needs to be collected, when do you plan to do it?"... I'll usually get "later"... "no, I need a [I]plan... morning, afternoon, or evening..."[/I] and he will actually pick one. Half the time, it gets done. The other half, I give him a 15-min reminder toward the end of the time period (e.g. just before supper... recycling not done yet, you have 15 mins). THAT works about another 50%. So, I'm getting 75% compliance. The other 25%? usually there's something else going on that I need to get to the bottom of, before he's in any shape to be interacting on a normal level with the rest of the world. But try and get away from the kinds of direct orders that work for a 7 y/o. difficult child is 12. It wouldn't necessarily be working well with a easy child at 12! GFGism just makes it worse. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
difficult child Behavior I Hate The Most
Top