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difficult child-dad hospital developments -- more of a brain dump for me
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 371225" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>Loth, that's a very good question. On Sunday night when my brother came to see him, my mom and I had already talked about DNR orders because of what we know he's expressed in the past and what we know about his mental health and how that would be affected if he were to be told about all the issues he's facing. But my brother and his LOVELY wife raised a stink (because they were still in shock) so my mom changed her stance. She wants to be sure both of us (bro & me) are okay with it. She already knows I'm fine with just letting him go. I think my brother may be coming around to the idea finally.</p><p> </p><p>Part of the reason I think the hospital is pursuing the tests is because they really still don't know the origin of the metastases. Perhaps the biopsy results from the bladder will tell us more today. And they have suggested that if they can stabilize some of his heart issues he might be able to go home (which is where he wants to be anyway). They talked about pallative chemo that could potentially hold whatever type of cancer it is at bay to give him extra time.</p><p> </p><p>In all honesty, I know in my heart of hearts my dad would not want to go home with a terminal illness, especially if it meant he would be incapacitated in any way. Nor would he want to be sent to a nursing home. He would just want it to end. Of course, he expressed this in the past more in terms of being homicidal and suicidal, but you get the general picture.</p><p> </p><p>It does seem pointless to run a boatload of tests on someone they can't help. But they are obligated, I suppose, to come up with the data to firmly support such a prognosis. And so far, we haven't been given any specifics yet because they just don't know what's really going on yet.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe it will be today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 371225, member: 3444"] Loth, that's a very good question. On Sunday night when my brother came to see him, my mom and I had already talked about DNR orders because of what we know he's expressed in the past and what we know about his mental health and how that would be affected if he were to be told about all the issues he's facing. But my brother and his LOVELY wife raised a stink (because they were still in shock) so my mom changed her stance. She wants to be sure both of us (bro & me) are okay with it. She already knows I'm fine with just letting him go. I think my brother may be coming around to the idea finally. Part of the reason I think the hospital is pursuing the tests is because they really still don't know the origin of the metastases. Perhaps the biopsy results from the bladder will tell us more today. And they have suggested that if they can stabilize some of his heart issues he might be able to go home (which is where he wants to be anyway). They talked about pallative chemo that could potentially hold whatever type of cancer it is at bay to give him extra time. In all honesty, I know in my heart of hearts my dad would not want to go home with a terminal illness, especially if it meant he would be incapacitated in any way. Nor would he want to be sent to a nursing home. He would just want it to end. Of course, he expressed this in the past more in terms of being homicidal and suicidal, but you get the general picture. It does seem pointless to run a boatload of tests on someone they can't help. But they are obligated, I suppose, to come up with the data to firmly support such a prognosis. And so far, we haven't been given any specifics yet because they just don't know what's really going on yet. Maybe it will be today. [/QUOTE]
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