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difficult child-dad hospital developments -- more of a brain dump for me
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 371484" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>Linda, he has always been fearful of death and never EVER wanted to discuss anything related to it. So no will. No advanced directive. Nada. My mom and I have been basing our "plans" on what we know of him and conversations or comments he's made over the years. Seems we are the only ones who've paid attention (my brother has no clue). But you are right that should he come out of this, we need to insist that he stipulate what he wants for the next and/or final time he's hospitalized. Right now it's so hard to make plans one way or the other when we still don't have answers.</p><p></p><p>Janet, my mom is very cautious about what we talk about or say when we are near him. She tries to have the docs come out to the hallway to discuss any of his particulars, especially if the info is not good. Today they lowered the propofol and his heartrate was higher, he had some limb movement, and when my mom first came in and called his name this morning, she said his eyes popped open! Scared the crud out of her! <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="rofl :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /> But we were also worried that he might be aware enough that he was starting to panic about the tube in his throat. </p><p></p><p>The ICU doctor on duty today said they were gong to try to wean him off the ventilator over the next day or so and that they'd have to lower the sedation as well in order to get him completely extubated. My mom and I are dreading that. We made sure the doctor knows that he is claustrophobic and has panic attacks often, and that he has serious mental health issues that have never been treated. We have a feeling things are going to get very ugly once he comes back to full consciousness. He may have a lot of rage directed at anyone he can throw the blame at (my mom, his primary care doctor, maybe even me) because of his extreme anxiety/fear/paranoia etc. I hope I'm wrong.</p><p> </p><p>My mom is anxiously awaiting the liver biopsy results from today so that we can better make a decision about the next level of his care. After he is extubated, they are hoping to ultrasound his parathyroid -- they are highly suspicious of it at this point because of how it is responding (paradoxically) to his high calcium levels, which could mean there is a malignancy. If the situation is terminal with a very short extpectancy, she will authorize a DNR.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 371484, member: 3444"] Linda, he has always been fearful of death and never EVER wanted to discuss anything related to it. So no will. No advanced directive. Nada. My mom and I have been basing our "plans" on what we know of him and conversations or comments he's made over the years. Seems we are the only ones who've paid attention (my brother has no clue). But you are right that should he come out of this, we need to insist that he stipulate what he wants for the next and/or final time he's hospitalized. Right now it's so hard to make plans one way or the other when we still don't have answers. Janet, my mom is very cautious about what we talk about or say when we are near him. She tries to have the docs come out to the hallway to discuss any of his particulars, especially if the info is not good. Today they lowered the propofol and his heartrate was higher, he had some limb movement, and when my mom first came in and called his name this morning, she said his eyes popped open! Scared the crud out of her! :rofl: But we were also worried that he might be aware enough that he was starting to panic about the tube in his throat. The ICU doctor on duty today said they were gong to try to wean him off the ventilator over the next day or so and that they'd have to lower the sedation as well in order to get him completely extubated. My mom and I are dreading that. We made sure the doctor knows that he is claustrophobic and has panic attacks often, and that he has serious mental health issues that have never been treated. We have a feeling things are going to get very ugly once he comes back to full consciousness. He may have a lot of rage directed at anyone he can throw the blame at (my mom, his primary care doctor, maybe even me) because of his extreme anxiety/fear/paranoia etc. I hope I'm wrong. My mom is anxiously awaiting the liver biopsy results from today so that we can better make a decision about the next level of his care. After he is extubated, they are hoping to ultrasound his parathyroid -- they are highly suspicious of it at this point because of how it is responding (paradoxically) to his high calcium levels, which could mean there is a malignancy. If the situation is terminal with a very short extpectancy, she will authorize a DNR. [/QUOTE]
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