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difficult child/difficult child mom causing problems
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<blockquote data-quote="dstc_99" data-source="post: 584037" data-attributes="member: 15473"><p>I'm not DDD but in my opinion if his mother told him he wasn't allowed to go and then your husband shows up and takes him anyway it undermines biomom's authority big time. I'm not saying he didn't need to be removed from the situation for a while just that husband could have contacted the biomom to work out an acceptable solution. Even though you guys aren't fans of the 20 year old difficult child you are also most likely only getting one side of the story. Biomom may have had a dang good reason for the punishment. </p><p></p><p>Once the son arrived at your house he got taken care of, given his favorite meal, and basically got babied. His actions had just caused injury to his brother, his mother, and most likely household items yet he leaves and goes to dad's house and gets treated like a prince. Top that off with husband not answering phone calls and making a 17 year old deal with his now ****** off ex and I would say it is a recipe for disaster.</p><p></p><p>I am not trying to be mean here just show you how this might look from someone else's point of view. in my humble opinion your husband needs to start dealing with his ex instead of ignoring her or putting your 17 year old stepson in the middle. If your husband stops allowing her to pull the strings by using the child things might change. </p><p></p><p>My parents recently allowed my daughter to move in with them against my wishes. Honestly this situation rings a bell with me because they did the exact same thing. Picked up my difficult child from outside my house and took her with them without my approval. Then they proceeded to give her anything and everything she wanted while telling her I wasn't doing a good job of parenting. Well guess what. Now she lives with them and I get to send them support payments but I don't have my child and I dont have a relationship with them right now either. In the long run all it would take is them picking up the phone and opening up with honest dialogue but until they stop playing games I will remain silent on the issue. I refuse to play the game your husband is playing and stick my child in the middle of adult drama.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dstc_99, post: 584037, member: 15473"] I'm not DDD but in my opinion if his mother told him he wasn't allowed to go and then your husband shows up and takes him anyway it undermines biomom's authority big time. I'm not saying he didn't need to be removed from the situation for a while just that husband could have contacted the biomom to work out an acceptable solution. Even though you guys aren't fans of the 20 year old difficult child you are also most likely only getting one side of the story. Biomom may have had a dang good reason for the punishment. Once the son arrived at your house he got taken care of, given his favorite meal, and basically got babied. His actions had just caused injury to his brother, his mother, and most likely household items yet he leaves and goes to dad's house and gets treated like a prince. Top that off with husband not answering phone calls and making a 17 year old deal with his now ****** off ex and I would say it is a recipe for disaster. I am not trying to be mean here just show you how this might look from someone else's point of view. in my humble opinion your husband needs to start dealing with his ex instead of ignoring her or putting your 17 year old stepson in the middle. If your husband stops allowing her to pull the strings by using the child things might change. My parents recently allowed my daughter to move in with them against my wishes. Honestly this situation rings a bell with me because they did the exact same thing. Picked up my difficult child from outside my house and took her with them without my approval. Then they proceeded to give her anything and everything she wanted while telling her I wasn't doing a good job of parenting. Well guess what. Now she lives with them and I get to send them support payments but I don't have my child and I dont have a relationship with them right now either. In the long run all it would take is them picking up the phone and opening up with honest dialogue but until they stop playing games I will remain silent on the issue. I refuse to play the game your husband is playing and stick my child in the middle of adult drama. [/QUOTE]
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