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difficult child/difficult child mom causing problems
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<blockquote data-quote="AppleCori" data-source="post: 584123" data-attributes="member: 16024"><p>Thank you for your reply, SusieStar,</p><p></p><p>Yes, I agree that a drug addict with increasingly erratic behavior shouldn't be allowed to live in a house with minor children, which is why WE kicked him out a year ago. </p><p></p><p>Unfortunately, we only hear what goes on there by dribs and drabs, as 17yo is usually very protective of his mom and is reticent to reveal anything that puts her in a bad light. It is usually only after he is really angry/upset about something that he will talk about it. This is a very quiet kid who keeps things to himself (strong, silent type) and doesn't want to rock the boat at almost any cost. It takes a lot for him to loose control and punch his brother. He is a big, strong kid but he never fights at school or gets into any trouble. It is only with his brother.</p><p></p><p>We have talked many times about what to do. 17yo begs his dad not to do anything. </p><p></p><p>Dad may have been wrong in picking up 17yo, but it was our normal visitation, and we haven't been able to see 17yo for several weeks. 17yo also begged to be removed from the situation temporarily so that he could cool off and get away from his brother's mouth before something worse happened. Remember, these are big boys, man sized boys, and dad was worried about everyone's safety. </p><p></p><p> Mom always comes up with some reason why 17yo can't come for visitation, because she really wants us to take difficult child back into our home, or at least 'share custody' of difficult child to take some of the strain off of her. And again, 17yo will not cross his mom and would rather forego visitation that create more problems, so we have had to accept that. </p><p></p><p>We have tried to help difficult child at various times, but after the last situation in December when he was using drugs in the house, we said no more. Dad has offered to help mom remove difficult child from her house if she needs him to, but she thinks it is wrong to kick him out when he has no money, job, car or place to go. So she tries to manage each situation as it comes up, often by punishing 17yo if there is an altercation between the two, because she has no consequences to give difficult child. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It is a very difficult situation to be in. </p><p></p><p>Again, thanks for your input, susiestar.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AppleCori, post: 584123, member: 16024"] Thank you for your reply, SusieStar, Yes, I agree that a drug addict with increasingly erratic behavior shouldn't be allowed to live in a house with minor children, which is why WE kicked him out a year ago. Unfortunately, we only hear what goes on there by dribs and drabs, as 17yo is usually very protective of his mom and is reticent to reveal anything that puts her in a bad light. It is usually only after he is really angry/upset about something that he will talk about it. This is a very quiet kid who keeps things to himself (strong, silent type) and doesn't want to rock the boat at almost any cost. It takes a lot for him to loose control and punch his brother. He is a big, strong kid but he never fights at school or gets into any trouble. It is only with his brother. We have talked many times about what to do. 17yo begs his dad not to do anything. Dad may have been wrong in picking up 17yo, but it was our normal visitation, and we haven't been able to see 17yo for several weeks. 17yo also begged to be removed from the situation temporarily so that he could cool off and get away from his brother's mouth before something worse happened. Remember, these are big boys, man sized boys, and dad was worried about everyone's safety. Mom always comes up with some reason why 17yo can't come for visitation, because she really wants us to take difficult child back into our home, or at least 'share custody' of difficult child to take some of the strain off of her. And again, 17yo will not cross his mom and would rather forego visitation that create more problems, so we have had to accept that. We have tried to help difficult child at various times, but after the last situation in December when he was using drugs in the house, we said no more. Dad has offered to help mom remove difficult child from her house if she needs him to, but she thinks it is wrong to kick him out when he has no money, job, car or place to go. So she tries to manage each situation as it comes up, often by punishing 17yo if there is an altercation between the two, because she has no consequences to give difficult child. It is a very difficult situation to be in. Again, thanks for your input, susiestar. [/QUOTE]
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