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difficult child doesn't want to go to dads house?
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<blockquote data-quote="Big Bad Kitty" data-source="post: 147187" data-attributes="member: 3647"><p>Jen,</p><p></p><p>This is such a hard one. I wish I had a magic wand, or a crystal ball to give you the correct answer.</p><p></p><p>You know, you hear all the time how kids function so much better when their father is in their life. Ok, but what if their father is a real moron? Tink absolutely adores her father, but she went through periods where she did not want to see him. He has done some real stupid things, and went through periods where she was not his priority when she was there. For awhile, when his girlfriend was pregnant, he'd put Tink's older brothers in charge of her for HOURS so he could sleep, because she kept him up all night whining. Her brothers resented her and she'd come home telling me that they were always beating her up. After awhile, she fought back, and dad finally put his foot down to the g/f. </p><p></p><p>At this point, Tink loves going over to her dad's. She actually has a good relationship with the g/f (something I never imagined would happen) and adores her baby brother. Her older brothers rarely go there anymore though. I think that it was important for me to never bad mouth him to her, and make her go to see her dad. The two of them worked through their issues, at least for now. She is very close with him. A lot was my problem. I did not like how he did things, because it was not how I did things. But I had to let that go. As long as he made sure she got her medication at the right time, I really had to "basket C" everything else. </p><p></p><p>And the more I backed off, the less he did to try and tick me off. He used to let her watch movies that I did not approve of just to get to me. Since I backed off (and he knows I will stay backed off) it seems like he figures, OK, she's not out to pick fights with me. He has become much more responsible. Maybe he would have sooner, if I hadn't tried to shove it down his throat.</p><p></p><p>Anyways, that is what worked for me. Others may disagree. I wish you luck in your situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Big Bad Kitty, post: 147187, member: 3647"] Jen, This is such a hard one. I wish I had a magic wand, or a crystal ball to give you the correct answer. You know, you hear all the time how kids function so much better when their father is in their life. Ok, but what if their father is a real moron? Tink absolutely adores her father, but she went through periods where she did not want to see him. He has done some real stupid things, and went through periods where she was not his priority when she was there. For awhile, when his girlfriend was pregnant, he'd put Tink's older brothers in charge of her for HOURS so he could sleep, because she kept him up all night whining. Her brothers resented her and she'd come home telling me that they were always beating her up. After awhile, she fought back, and dad finally put his foot down to the g/f. At this point, Tink loves going over to her dad's. She actually has a good relationship with the g/f (something I never imagined would happen) and adores her baby brother. Her older brothers rarely go there anymore though. I think that it was important for me to never bad mouth him to her, and make her go to see her dad. The two of them worked through their issues, at least for now. She is very close with him. A lot was my problem. I did not like how he did things, because it was not how I did things. But I had to let that go. As long as he made sure she got her medication at the right time, I really had to "basket C" everything else. And the more I backed off, the less he did to try and tick me off. He used to let her watch movies that I did not approve of just to get to me. Since I backed off (and he knows I will stay backed off) it seems like he figures, OK, she's not out to pick fights with me. He has become much more responsible. Maybe he would have sooner, if I hadn't tried to shove it down his throat. Anyways, that is what worked for me. Others may disagree. I wish you luck in your situation. [/QUOTE]
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