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difficult child draining my life force
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<blockquote data-quote="amelia" data-source="post: 515726" data-attributes="member: 14169"><p>Thanks for the responses. So much info given and asked for from me that I don't even know where to start. My difficult child was born legally blind, she has albinism. So not only is she dealing with the visual impairment but also with people's reactions to how she looks. She has had her share of q tip, Clorox, and Casper insults hurled at her, along with the always popular "LOOK, AN ALBINO," when she is walking around or at the mall. As to walking miles and miles to get somewhere, a young female walking alone on the side of the road is not safe, add the startling physical appearance and it is definitely not something I would want her to do. </p><p></p><p>She had been registered with the agency for the blind in our state since she was 3 months old. She has had orientation and mobility, cane training, rehab and vocational counselors. She is capable, lived alone in the dorm since she didn't want to share a room, and graduated magna *** laude. Vision is the very least of her problems.</p><p></p><p>She had no other diagnosis until she was diagnosed with major depression in high school. I believe her self esteem issues and lack of motivation stem from her extremely emotionally abusive father. He left when she was a few months old but had visitation 2 days a week until she refused to see him anymore when she was 16. What I learned was that children have no rights when it comes to their abusive parents, and emotional abuse is impossible to prove, and we were stuck with the visitation. She started therapy when she was 6 because of her anxiety (stomach problems, sleep problems with no physical cause). </p><p></p><p>In high school she was given her first medications for depression, prosaz, and this lead to her first hospitalization, which lead to more medications, which lead to more hospitalizations, which lead to the suicide attempt and another hospitalization, which lead to her deciding to never mess with the medications again, which I support. This lead to the homeopath, faith healer, LENS therapy, hypno-therapy, psychic, none of which helped.</p><p></p><p>Now she has high anxiety, has only one friend and blows people off who try to be friendly with her, has no social life, no desire to leave the house, and insists she is too stupid to have a full time job. She saves all her money, doesn't ask for anything. Buys her own clothes and stuff with her pay. The computer is hers, bought with money from her summer job. I don't ask for rent, I would rather she save her money for when she really needs it, and I don't think she would care if I took all her money for rent. I have limited computer access in the past, and she would just go to bed and stay there. The computer is her only social outlet, she talks to her friend (who she met her first semester in college) and plays games with her on it, so I won't take that away now, at least she is not in bed. </p><p></p><p>I think I covered everything, don't know what else to say. What would I do if I had a 24 year old who wasn't visually impaired acting like this. That is the question. Like I said, vision is the least of her problems. And I feel the issues would be the same (except for not being able to go where and when she wants because of her vision). I would never send my daughter out on the street with no friends and no resources, so maybe we are both doomed because of my refusal to put her out, I don't know. I want her to grow, mature and be independent, not die on the streets, she doesn't even have the option of living in her car. ugh....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="amelia, post: 515726, member: 14169"] Thanks for the responses. So much info given and asked for from me that I don't even know where to start. My difficult child was born legally blind, she has albinism. So not only is she dealing with the visual impairment but also with people's reactions to how she looks. She has had her share of q tip, Clorox, and Casper insults hurled at her, along with the always popular "LOOK, AN ALBINO," when she is walking around or at the mall. As to walking miles and miles to get somewhere, a young female walking alone on the side of the road is not safe, add the startling physical appearance and it is definitely not something I would want her to do. She had been registered with the agency for the blind in our state since she was 3 months old. She has had orientation and mobility, cane training, rehab and vocational counselors. She is capable, lived alone in the dorm since she didn't want to share a room, and graduated magna *** laude. Vision is the very least of her problems. She had no other diagnosis until she was diagnosed with major depression in high school. I believe her self esteem issues and lack of motivation stem from her extremely emotionally abusive father. He left when she was a few months old but had visitation 2 days a week until she refused to see him anymore when she was 16. What I learned was that children have no rights when it comes to their abusive parents, and emotional abuse is impossible to prove, and we were stuck with the visitation. She started therapy when she was 6 because of her anxiety (stomach problems, sleep problems with no physical cause). In high school she was given her first medications for depression, prosaz, and this lead to her first hospitalization, which lead to more medications, which lead to more hospitalizations, which lead to the suicide attempt and another hospitalization, which lead to her deciding to never mess with the medications again, which I support. This lead to the homeopath, faith healer, LENS therapy, hypno-therapy, psychic, none of which helped. Now she has high anxiety, has only one friend and blows people off who try to be friendly with her, has no social life, no desire to leave the house, and insists she is too stupid to have a full time job. She saves all her money, doesn't ask for anything. Buys her own clothes and stuff with her pay. The computer is hers, bought with money from her summer job. I don't ask for rent, I would rather she save her money for when she really needs it, and I don't think she would care if I took all her money for rent. I have limited computer access in the past, and she would just go to bed and stay there. The computer is her only social outlet, she talks to her friend (who she met her first semester in college) and plays games with her on it, so I won't take that away now, at least she is not in bed. I think I covered everything, don't know what else to say. What would I do if I had a 24 year old who wasn't visually impaired acting like this. That is the question. Like I said, vision is the least of her problems. And I feel the issues would be the same (except for not being able to go where and when she wants because of her vision). I would never send my daughter out on the street with no friends and no resources, so maybe we are both doomed because of my refusal to put her out, I don't know. I want her to grow, mature and be independent, not die on the streets, she doesn't even have the option of living in her car. ugh.... [/QUOTE]
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