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difficult child failing school - suggestions/advice?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 326697" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I totally agree that it isn't rational to expect failing to motivate a student like your son to turn himself around. If that were all it took, a few tests or projects with failing grades would at least have some effect on his behavior.</p><p></p><p>Chances are it will take something pretty big to change his behavior at school. He simply may have talents and interests that are far from those that school typically nurtures. Long ago he might have chosen an apprenticeship or farm work rather than going on to high school. In today's world that is not really an option if he wants to have a decent life. </p><p></p><p>What ARE his talents and interests? What is his learning style? Does he learn better from hearing something or reading it or watching it in a video format? Was he the type of small child who had a hard time learning the days of the week or the ABC's but could make intricate lego creations or play a musical instrument wonderfully? </p><p></p><p>Is there a way to tailor his education to his interests and learning styles? The years we homeschooled Wiz were often that way. The first year we spent mostly in therapy and doctor appts. They literally ate weeks at a time. He worked on workbooks and read voraciously during that time. When we got more used to homeschooling I set up his lessons around what he was interested in. Usually he got to help pick the topic. Partly this was because we struggled with his overwhelming obsessions. So I did pokemon math, english and science. I made up gym activities that had to do with pokemon. Or with the very few other things he was able to focus on besides pokemon. If I hadn't done that he would not have learned. </p><p></p><p>Does your son have any subjects that he is intensely interested in? Can you arrange schoolwork using that to hook his interest? I know it is harder at 13, but is it possible? Also, have you looked into online classes? Our state has contracted with a company to provide free online high school and now middle school/jr high also.</p><p></p><p>As for wilderness programs and Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s, the largest reason that they do not work in the long-term is that parents see progress and want to bring the child home too soon. The child needs to be away from his normal environment more than just a summer or a few months so that the new thinking patterns and reactions can be firmly set into his brain. He has to really let these new thoughts and behaviors become his natural reactions. This is why most successful programs are NOT a few months of boot camp or whatever.</p><p></p><p>Heck, even the military doesn't just cut a soldier loose to go and do a job right after boot camp. They go on to further training most of the time. It really helps them embrace the new realities of their life in the military.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 326697, member: 1233"] I totally agree that it isn't rational to expect failing to motivate a student like your son to turn himself around. If that were all it took, a few tests or projects with failing grades would at least have some effect on his behavior. Chances are it will take something pretty big to change his behavior at school. He simply may have talents and interests that are far from those that school typically nurtures. Long ago he might have chosen an apprenticeship or farm work rather than going on to high school. In today's world that is not really an option if he wants to have a decent life. What ARE his talents and interests? What is his learning style? Does he learn better from hearing something or reading it or watching it in a video format? Was he the type of small child who had a hard time learning the days of the week or the ABC's but could make intricate lego creations or play a musical instrument wonderfully? Is there a way to tailor his education to his interests and learning styles? The years we homeschooled Wiz were often that way. The first year we spent mostly in therapy and doctor appts. They literally ate weeks at a time. He worked on workbooks and read voraciously during that time. When we got more used to homeschooling I set up his lessons around what he was interested in. Usually he got to help pick the topic. Partly this was because we struggled with his overwhelming obsessions. So I did pokemon math, english and science. I made up gym activities that had to do with pokemon. Or with the very few other things he was able to focus on besides pokemon. If I hadn't done that he would not have learned. Does your son have any subjects that he is intensely interested in? Can you arrange schoolwork using that to hook his interest? I know it is harder at 13, but is it possible? Also, have you looked into online classes? Our state has contracted with a company to provide free online high school and now middle school/jr high also. As for wilderness programs and Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s, the largest reason that they do not work in the long-term is that parents see progress and want to bring the child home too soon. The child needs to be away from his normal environment more than just a summer or a few months so that the new thinking patterns and reactions can be firmly set into his brain. He has to really let these new thoughts and behaviors become his natural reactions. This is why most successful programs are NOT a few months of boot camp or whatever. Heck, even the military doesn't just cut a soldier loose to go and do a job right after boot camp. They go on to further training most of the time. It really helps them embrace the new realities of their life in the military. [/QUOTE]
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