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difficult child given credit...we are baffled
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 252447"><p>difficult child has told us that she sees where getting things on credit, especially when one is not gainfully employed and has no savings, is not a good idea. The contract they had her sign was awful. She knows she was in the wrong...there is no question about this. Sadly, there were built in penalties for everything and a freakishly high sign up charge and another high cancellation charge. She didn't owe them a phone...since she had purchased it from some other place (Best Buy???) Perhaps she had the sim (?) card changed. Some sort of convertion of sorts. She used the phone twice (locally) and the bill was very large. Hopefully, two lessons learned (for difficult child) 1) don't sign a contract with-o advice and 2) don't even consider credit with-o having a job.</p><p>With her...it's hard to say if she will learn the lesson.</p><p> </p><p>Oh...and it doesn't matter much, if at all, that in the business world especially the less fortunate are preyed upon.</p><p>It is concerning for me as a mother and as a citizen to see some of this going on. This lack of concern for others...the desire to take advtange of those less fortunate. However, we are each personally accountable...we each have choices to make. My choice is that I can see this unfortunate part of humanity, make a mental note of it...but I don't have to agree with it. I can also CHOOSE not to really let it bother me. It's just there. There are plenty of examples of peoples goodness anyway.</p><p> </p><p>Making matters more complicated...we are unsure of what goes on difficult children head. She knows now for sure. She should not be making this choice again. Believe me...I'll be thinking about this. We will be using this as an educational tool. She needs to listen. </p><p> </p><p>We are hoping the lesson is sinking in for difficult child. You create debt...you pay it back. You take out a loan...and don't pay it back...you might get nasty creditors calling. You impulsively sign a contract...it might be a real stuipid/rip you off one. These things...many people have difficulty with-...not just difficult children.</p><p> </p><p>Arrangements have been made for difficult child to work off the debt and we hope to hear back if the debt will be reduced. She has been remoreseful and respecful. husband and I certainly don't want to get stuck with any of this...and honestly, we don't intend to. Due to difficult children diagnosis's, including the brain aneurysm and some confusion about her abilities, we are willing to step in and help out as we are able...giving her more time to develop. However, she has to do everything in her power to help herself. If she is not doing everything in her power to help herself or if what we do is not good enough (any combination) it is likely to spell problems and I can't overly concern myself with this. Bottom line: she might end up with debt/back credit report if that debt is not reduced. Again, I'm not overly concerned. </p><p>It starts with difficult child doing the best she can with what she's been handed.</p><p> </p><p>We have taken a different approach than some here for now. This might be because our situation is a little different than many here. No drugs, little disrespect, the added problem of the brain surgery/brain bleed/adoption emotional baggage. difficult child might need a little more developmental time. Doesn't give her a pass...but there are extentuating circumstances. She has to make good choices, and we push to teach her those lessons with-o being inappropriate due to her limitations. As she gets older...we push her more and more. And by the way, these "lessons" are actually good tools for her and also might influence whether or not husband and I help her in the future (knowing she's already been through the experience and fully understood it).</p><p> </p><p>NOt sure how it will work out in the end...just processing all that happened, trying to learn and moving forward.</p><p> </p><p>I don't plan on discussing it any further.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 252447"] difficult child has told us that she sees where getting things on credit, especially when one is not gainfully employed and has no savings, is not a good idea. The contract they had her sign was awful. She knows she was in the wrong...there is no question about this. Sadly, there were built in penalties for everything and a freakishly high sign up charge and another high cancellation charge. She didn't owe them a phone...since she had purchased it from some other place (Best Buy???) Perhaps she had the sim (?) card changed. Some sort of convertion of sorts. She used the phone twice (locally) and the bill was very large. Hopefully, two lessons learned (for difficult child) 1) don't sign a contract with-o advice and 2) don't even consider credit with-o having a job. With her...it's hard to say if she will learn the lesson. Oh...and it doesn't matter much, if at all, that in the business world especially the less fortunate are preyed upon. It is concerning for me as a mother and as a citizen to see some of this going on. This lack of concern for others...the desire to take advtange of those less fortunate. However, we are each personally accountable...we each have choices to make. My choice is that I can see this unfortunate part of humanity, make a mental note of it...but I don't have to agree with it. I can also CHOOSE not to really let it bother me. It's just there. There are plenty of examples of peoples goodness anyway. Making matters more complicated...we are unsure of what goes on difficult children head. She knows now for sure. She should not be making this choice again. Believe me...I'll be thinking about this. We will be using this as an educational tool. She needs to listen. We are hoping the lesson is sinking in for difficult child. You create debt...you pay it back. You take out a loan...and don't pay it back...you might get nasty creditors calling. You impulsively sign a contract...it might be a real stuipid/rip you off one. These things...many people have difficulty with-...not just difficult children. Arrangements have been made for difficult child to work off the debt and we hope to hear back if the debt will be reduced. She has been remoreseful and respecful. husband and I certainly don't want to get stuck with any of this...and honestly, we don't intend to. Due to difficult children diagnosis's, including the brain aneurysm and some confusion about her abilities, we are willing to step in and help out as we are able...giving her more time to develop. However, she has to do everything in her power to help herself. If she is not doing everything in her power to help herself or if what we do is not good enough (any combination) it is likely to spell problems and I can't overly concern myself with this. Bottom line: she might end up with debt/back credit report if that debt is not reduced. Again, I'm not overly concerned. It starts with difficult child doing the best she can with what she's been handed. We have taken a different approach than some here for now. This might be because our situation is a little different than many here. No drugs, little disrespect, the added problem of the brain surgery/brain bleed/adoption emotional baggage. difficult child might need a little more developmental time. Doesn't give her a pass...but there are extentuating circumstances. She has to make good choices, and we push to teach her those lessons with-o being inappropriate due to her limitations. As she gets older...we push her more and more. And by the way, these "lessons" are actually good tools for her and also might influence whether or not husband and I help her in the future (knowing she's already been through the experience and fully understood it). NOt sure how it will work out in the end...just processing all that happened, trying to learn and moving forward. I don't plan on discussing it any further. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child given credit...we are baffled
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