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difficult child had a big meltdown
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 197303" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Thanks, everyone, for the support and thoughts.</p><p></p><p>Right now I'm just trying to think of things I can do that might lead to getting him turned around without wasting years sitting in detention. And, I'm trying to think about the steps to pursue those things and start thinking those options through enough to make a good decision. So far, I have thought about this much (not necessarily in any order).</p><p></p><p>1) medications- I agree that they aren't good enough right now. We had made an appointment for last week with psychiatrist that we were to keep if I wanted to try lowering depakote. I decided that we should kkeep the depakote as it is for right now, so a week ago Mon., I called to postpone the appointment. Of course, a day or two after that was when difficult child was getting into the rage and violent episodes (2 now in about 1 week). I can't help but think this is related to cycling. Plus, I had been using risperdal PRN- he took it the first week of Sept., then stopped, then from middle of last week until Mon. I gave it to him last night and intend to keep him on it now until we see psychiatrist again. I hope I'm not making excuses for him or being in denial, but difficult child has not been this way in the past except when he's very unstable, with other BiPolar (BP) sympotms active. Our next appointment is now sscheduled for 4 weeks from now and psychiatrist is on vacation this week. If the risperdal doesn't curb things, I can call next week and see if psychiatrist can squeeze me in (alone) to discuss the current situation. He will either try a medication change, or maybe write a letter recommending out of home placement or tell me to call police, which will ultimately lead to difficult child turned over to state dept of corrections.</p><p></p><p>2) If psychiatrist writes that letter, judge may try to find an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) but I doubt it. There are a number of resons, including that no one here is familiar with her ever doing that and the state has a very few Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s and last year DSS and an attny told me that difficult child would never be able to go into an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in this state because he had a conviction for arson. So, if out-of-state placement would be required, I can see the judge giving placement to my bro if she didn't want to automatically send difficult child to state dept., which he has a suspended sentence for.</p><p></p><p>3) I don't have a clue how to get difficult child into an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) privately. I seriously doubt I would be able to do it between the financial aspect and the fact that he's "under" Department of Juvenile Justice authority right now, and technically will be until he's 21 yo. I think the only chance would be if I could find an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) that would take him, figure out a way to pay for it, go to the judge with the lettere of recommendation from psychiatrist and proof that I had difficult child's admittance ready. She would probably approve that. But, insurrance won't cover it and I <em>think</em> the only way to get aide for the cost (if it's in state- I don;t know that this even works for out-of-state), is to go through all the local government mental health agencies to get their recommendation. First, I can't even get them to return my call. Second, that process would probably take at least a year. Third, I'm not sure how much they can or would be willing to pursue with difficult child already involved in a different government agency (ie - Department of Juvenile Justice)- they might look at it like "why spend their time on his case- let Department of Juvenile Justice figure out what to do and how to pay for it".</p><p></p><p>3) therapist and outpatient route- we have an appointment this afternoon with "Mr. go-in-circles". I'm going to be fussing about why we've been seeing him for over 4 mos and haven't gotten past the diagnosis and what medications difficult child is on (which he didn't even evaluate- this was just relayed to him from psychiatrist and it was discussed with him on the phone before I ever met him in the spring.) Anyway, I'm going to asked if he knows of someone who has experience in this sort of issue that he can recommend. Also, I'm considering going to a therapist by myself. There are some logistics involved with that and I'm not crazy about the idea because even though I could use the confidential time to get some of the stress out by talking, I feel it's almost pointless because when things wwere similar 2 1/2 years ago, they said they couldn't help because they didn't know difficult child and just told me to call police if it happened again. So, why bother going. I might anyway- I don't know right now- ...I did find one psychiatrist listing that says he counsels as well as monitors/prescribes medications. He appears to only have been licensed a short time and accepts NO insurance. I'm a little reluctant on that one. I don't think I'd be comfortable with him handling the medications and I don't see how I could afford it out of pocket. I could ask psychiatrist if he knows of a psychiatrist that does counseling.</p><p></p><p>4) I swear, I almost want to talk to difficult child and asked if he wants to go to a therapist and get all this anger towards me out- whatever it takes- if he wants to sit there and yell about me smoking cigarettes or whatever, fine if it can really release some of his anger instead of making it worse. BUT, then we would need a therapist who is going to handle things in a way that doesn't make difficult child feel justified for coming home and becoming violent (yes, I KNOW that therapist's don't intend to do that.) Maybe if I could find a therapist who would make a 2hour appointment instead of a 1 hour appointment a few times. I even thought about calling the intern and pursuing that, since he opened up this can of worms. But I swear, I would never trust him at this point. I feel he betrayed my trust by delving into this- and dumb-***t- he started it off by asking difficult child "please promise me that you won't get mad at home no matter what we talk about". Now, did he think that would prevent anything? </p><p></p><p>5) Stopping therapy for difficult child right now just isn't an option- unless the therapist we see today is willing to write something saying difficult child doesn't need it right now. Or, unless I get him back in with the therapist he saw last year and he writes that letter. I kind of hate to do that because obviously, difficult child does need it. But, I can see that the way things have been going ssure isn't working. I guess I'm saying I will put feelers out to see if something else can give in this area that might help. I put a call into a referral place last Friday. They were supposed to have a psychologist call me back so I could explain the situation and he could refer a therapist. I still haven't heard from the psychiatric- maybe I'll call again today.</p><p></p><p>6) Calling police- I've done it in the past and I'm never happy with the outcome. It might stop escalation that moment, but that is all it does. And, it is a sure way for them (3 mos down the road when it makes it to court) to turn difficult child over to state Department of Juvenile Justice and never get him more help. I'm not against calling 911 and asking for ambulance, though, and they will still send police.</p><p></p><p>Then- there is the bad financial situation I'm in right now. I don't want to give up on out-patient solutions (if there is one) just to desparately end the financial problem, but I need to come up with some solution. I'm mulling one over, but need to think it through a little more.</p><p></p><p>Sheewww- thanks for being "sounding boards"- if you made it through this!!! i haven't proof-read this so if I wrote something that doesn't seem to add up or make sense, I might have forgotten to put the word "not" in or put too many words in somewhere...sorry, still having my coffee! There were other suggestions mentioned- I need to mull them over, too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 197303, member: 3699"] Thanks, everyone, for the support and thoughts. Right now I'm just trying to think of things I can do that might lead to getting him turned around without wasting years sitting in detention. And, I'm trying to think about the steps to pursue those things and start thinking those options through enough to make a good decision. So far, I have thought about this much (not necessarily in any order). 1) medications- I agree that they aren't good enough right now. We had made an appointment for last week with psychiatrist that we were to keep if I wanted to try lowering depakote. I decided that we should kkeep the depakote as it is for right now, so a week ago Mon., I called to postpone the appointment. Of course, a day or two after that was when difficult child was getting into the rage and violent episodes (2 now in about 1 week). I can't help but think this is related to cycling. Plus, I had been using risperdal PRN- he took it the first week of Sept., then stopped, then from middle of last week until Mon. I gave it to him last night and intend to keep him on it now until we see psychiatrist again. I hope I'm not making excuses for him or being in denial, but difficult child has not been this way in the past except when he's very unstable, with other BiPolar (BP) sympotms active. Our next appointment is now sscheduled for 4 weeks from now and psychiatrist is on vacation this week. If the risperdal doesn't curb things, I can call next week and see if psychiatrist can squeeze me in (alone) to discuss the current situation. He will either try a medication change, or maybe write a letter recommending out of home placement or tell me to call police, which will ultimately lead to difficult child turned over to state dept of corrections. 2) If psychiatrist writes that letter, judge may try to find an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) but I doubt it. There are a number of resons, including that no one here is familiar with her ever doing that and the state has a very few Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s and last year DSS and an attny told me that difficult child would never be able to go into an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in this state because he had a conviction for arson. So, if out-of-state placement would be required, I can see the judge giving placement to my bro if she didn't want to automatically send difficult child to state dept., which he has a suspended sentence for. 3) I don't have a clue how to get difficult child into an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) privately. I seriously doubt I would be able to do it between the financial aspect and the fact that he's "under" Department of Juvenile Justice authority right now, and technically will be until he's 21 yo. I think the only chance would be if I could find an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) that would take him, figure out a way to pay for it, go to the judge with the lettere of recommendation from psychiatrist and proof that I had difficult child's admittance ready. She would probably approve that. But, insurrance won't cover it and I [I]think[/I] the only way to get aide for the cost (if it's in state- I don;t know that this even works for out-of-state), is to go through all the local government mental health agencies to get their recommendation. First, I can't even get them to return my call. Second, that process would probably take at least a year. Third, I'm not sure how much they can or would be willing to pursue with difficult child already involved in a different government agency (ie - Department of Juvenile Justice)- they might look at it like "why spend their time on his case- let Department of Juvenile Justice figure out what to do and how to pay for it". 3) therapist and outpatient route- we have an appointment this afternoon with "Mr. go-in-circles". I'm going to be fussing about why we've been seeing him for over 4 mos and haven't gotten past the diagnosis and what medications difficult child is on (which he didn't even evaluate- this was just relayed to him from psychiatrist and it was discussed with him on the phone before I ever met him in the spring.) Anyway, I'm going to asked if he knows of someone who has experience in this sort of issue that he can recommend. Also, I'm considering going to a therapist by myself. There are some logistics involved with that and I'm not crazy about the idea because even though I could use the confidential time to get some of the stress out by talking, I feel it's almost pointless because when things wwere similar 2 1/2 years ago, they said they couldn't help because they didn't know difficult child and just told me to call police if it happened again. So, why bother going. I might anyway- I don't know right now- ...I did find one psychiatrist listing that says he counsels as well as monitors/prescribes medications. He appears to only have been licensed a short time and accepts NO insurance. I'm a little reluctant on that one. I don't think I'd be comfortable with him handling the medications and I don't see how I could afford it out of pocket. I could ask psychiatrist if he knows of a psychiatrist that does counseling. 4) I swear, I almost want to talk to difficult child and asked if he wants to go to a therapist and get all this anger towards me out- whatever it takes- if he wants to sit there and yell about me smoking cigarettes or whatever, fine if it can really release some of his anger instead of making it worse. BUT, then we would need a therapist who is going to handle things in a way that doesn't make difficult child feel justified for coming home and becoming violent (yes, I KNOW that therapist's don't intend to do that.) Maybe if I could find a therapist who would make a 2hour appointment instead of a 1 hour appointment a few times. I even thought about calling the intern and pursuing that, since he opened up this can of worms. But I swear, I would never trust him at this point. I feel he betrayed my trust by delving into this- and dumb-***t- he started it off by asking difficult child "please promise me that you won't get mad at home no matter what we talk about". Now, did he think that would prevent anything? 5) Stopping therapy for difficult child right now just isn't an option- unless the therapist we see today is willing to write something saying difficult child doesn't need it right now. Or, unless I get him back in with the therapist he saw last year and he writes that letter. I kind of hate to do that because obviously, difficult child does need it. But, I can see that the way things have been going ssure isn't working. I guess I'm saying I will put feelers out to see if something else can give in this area that might help. I put a call into a referral place last Friday. They were supposed to have a psychologist call me back so I could explain the situation and he could refer a therapist. I still haven't heard from the psychiatric- maybe I'll call again today. 6) Calling police- I've done it in the past and I'm never happy with the outcome. It might stop escalation that moment, but that is all it does. And, it is a sure way for them (3 mos down the road when it makes it to court) to turn difficult child over to state Department of Juvenile Justice and never get him more help. I'm not against calling 911 and asking for ambulance, though, and they will still send police. Then- there is the bad financial situation I'm in right now. I don't want to give up on out-patient solutions (if there is one) just to desparately end the financial problem, but I need to come up with some solution. I'm mulling one over, but need to think it through a little more. Sheewww- thanks for being "sounding boards"- if you made it through this!!! i haven't proof-read this so if I wrote something that doesn't seem to add up or make sense, I might have forgotten to put the word "not" in or put too many words in somewhere...sorry, still having my coffee! There were other suggestions mentioned- I need to mull them over, too. [/QUOTE]
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