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difficult child had a big meltdown
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 197337" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>What MB says makes a lot of sense. Your son is manipulating you quite a bit with his tears then his anger/violence. He knows you dont want to send him back to Department of Juvenile Justice. I dont have a clue why they would even consider your brother as a resource unless he is trained in handling out of control, emotionally disturbed teens. I think you would have a rational argument there that he is not a licensed treatment foster parent. If anything, they would have to find one of those in VA. They do exist.</p><p></p><p>But back to the real problem. Yes your son has some sort of issue. What it is may not have really been uncovered yet but lets go with bipolar for now. Bipolar is not fun and it downright hoovers for much of the time. However, no matter how much I hate being bipolar and I know lots of the stuff I do is symptomatic of being bipolar...I cant just get away with things because of it. I have done things that have cost me dearly while unstable. I have had to pay the price. I cant tell a store that I wrote a bad check because I was unstable...I have to make it good. They couldnt care less. Same goes for your son. If he becomes violent because he is unstable, he needs to be held accountable because no one is going to give a rats behind that he is bipolar in the real world. He isnt psychotic and hearing voices telling him he is Caesar and he must kill the Romans. We live in a world that we have to adapt to, not that will adapt to us. That is simple reality. We must learn to assimilate without causing chaos around us or we will end up in very small pens. I dont much like it, I wish I could be more accepted for my challenges but I know its not going to happen. That is why I tend to stay home. My real behavior shows at home. But Im an adult and this is my home and Im not going to kill anyone in my own home...well maybe Cory but he has the option to leave. (Just kidding there!) </p><p></p><p>You and your son need to work out a way for him to get his aggression and violence out in a more socially acceptable way. Its perfectly ok to be angry. Its not ok to try to kill your mom. Beat a tree, punch a punching bag, destroy phone books. Go find old tires or something he can destroy and let him...but he cant hit in the house.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 197337, member: 1514"] What MB says makes a lot of sense. Your son is manipulating you quite a bit with his tears then his anger/violence. He knows you dont want to send him back to Department of Juvenile Justice. I dont have a clue why they would even consider your brother as a resource unless he is trained in handling out of control, emotionally disturbed teens. I think you would have a rational argument there that he is not a licensed treatment foster parent. If anything, they would have to find one of those in VA. They do exist. But back to the real problem. Yes your son has some sort of issue. What it is may not have really been uncovered yet but lets go with bipolar for now. Bipolar is not fun and it downright hoovers for much of the time. However, no matter how much I hate being bipolar and I know lots of the stuff I do is symptomatic of being bipolar...I cant just get away with things because of it. I have done things that have cost me dearly while unstable. I have had to pay the price. I cant tell a store that I wrote a bad check because I was unstable...I have to make it good. They couldnt care less. Same goes for your son. If he becomes violent because he is unstable, he needs to be held accountable because no one is going to give a rats behind that he is bipolar in the real world. He isnt psychotic and hearing voices telling him he is Caesar and he must kill the Romans. We live in a world that we have to adapt to, not that will adapt to us. That is simple reality. We must learn to assimilate without causing chaos around us or we will end up in very small pens. I dont much like it, I wish I could be more accepted for my challenges but I know its not going to happen. That is why I tend to stay home. My real behavior shows at home. But Im an adult and this is my home and Im not going to kill anyone in my own home...well maybe Cory but he has the option to leave. (Just kidding there!) You and your son need to work out a way for him to get his aggression and violence out in a more socially acceptable way. Its perfectly ok to be angry. Its not ok to try to kill your mom. Beat a tree, punch a punching bag, destroy phone books. Go find old tires or something he can destroy and let him...but he cant hit in the house. [/QUOTE]
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