As I waited for difficult child, I saw his teacher come down the hall but the car rider kids were not following her. I was going to tease her about it being a bad sign when she comes out without the kids when she motioned for me to come talk to her. 
difficult child had two bad episodes of behavior today. One was nasty words to a classmate. He was being nasty about her having tutoring over the summer and she replied, "Well, at least I don't need a machine to put my finger in." (something to that effect - she was referring to his stress eraser).
The 2nd episode was when he inappropriately tried to help a classmate that he perceived was being picked on. I don't know all the details on that one but it ended with him saying, "I'm not the only bad kid in class. S and A are also bad." and continued to explain why those two girls were bad. Neither were involved with the initial situation.
difficult child's teacher is wonderful. She was concerned with what caused this today. He has been doing so well and the recent step down from medications shouldn't have had this effect. She wants to know if there is anything that she can help with like having him bring the stress eraser to school again.
Of course, difficult child does not see how the teacher is trying to help him. He just feels that she yelled at him and that he is the only one that ever gets into trouble. He stated the other kids don't get in trouble when they are mean to him. He states he does not like her. I tried to assure him that she does like him and is doing her best to help him. She doesn't understand what happened today because that is not the person he is.
I asked him if he knew what happened, why he felt like behaving like that. He did not know. I talked to him about how his body is getting used to not having the medication and that he needs to use his tools instead of medication to get through this. I told him that if the tools don't work, he can go back on medication.
I talked to him about the teacher wants to make sure he is able to use all his tools while his body adjusts to not having the medication. I also talked to him about letting a teacher know when the kids are annoying him. I explained that when he gets so angry that he strikes back without thinking, he will get into trouble. Let's find a way to report whatever is happening before you get that angry.
I told him to talk to a teacher if he feels kids are picking on another kid. He replied that the teachers will say that the other kid needs to report it. So, I told him that he can say to the other kid, "I don't like how the other kids are treating you. I think you need to let the teacher know and I can go with you to help if you want." I told him that he needs to help teach the other kid how to find help.
He has such a black and white outlook on justice. He hates seeing other kids being mean but does not realize that sometimes the way he chooses to fight back is by being mean also.
When we finally got home (I had errands that absolutely had to be done otherwise we would have come straight home), I asked him if he would do the stress eraser. He stated he did not want to. I so hope the girl's comment hasn't totally turned him off it. Why do kids have to be so mean, and why do kids believe everything their peers say? His therapist recommended he do the stress eraser every night before bed so hopefully he will continue with that and just doesn't want to take it to school.
Sometimes it is hard to determine what is personality and what is anxiety.
Time will tell. I don't feel this was severe enough to automatically jump to reevaluating the medications. It will take time to adjust to not having medications. Also, if he does need to go back on medications, changing to a different medication will be an easier option if he is completely off this one.
I still have faith in him that he can watch out for his triggers and know when the anxiety starts climbing. He can use his tools to control it.
I hope my instincts are correct. I am blessed to have teachers who are in tuned to what might be anxiety. Although he doesn't see it, difficult child's teacher does try to keep him from anything that will increase the anxiety and is open to any of my suggestions.
p.s. I am still using our old computer. Don't know how often I can access it. I think I am getting used to it. But still want a new computer.
difficult child had two bad episodes of behavior today. One was nasty words to a classmate. He was being nasty about her having tutoring over the summer and she replied, "Well, at least I don't need a machine to put my finger in." (something to that effect - she was referring to his stress eraser).
The 2nd episode was when he inappropriately tried to help a classmate that he perceived was being picked on. I don't know all the details on that one but it ended with him saying, "I'm not the only bad kid in class. S and A are also bad." and continued to explain why those two girls were bad. Neither were involved with the initial situation.
difficult child's teacher is wonderful. She was concerned with what caused this today. He has been doing so well and the recent step down from medications shouldn't have had this effect. She wants to know if there is anything that she can help with like having him bring the stress eraser to school again.
Of course, difficult child does not see how the teacher is trying to help him. He just feels that she yelled at him and that he is the only one that ever gets into trouble. He stated the other kids don't get in trouble when they are mean to him. He states he does not like her. I tried to assure him that she does like him and is doing her best to help him. She doesn't understand what happened today because that is not the person he is.
I asked him if he knew what happened, why he felt like behaving like that. He did not know. I talked to him about how his body is getting used to not having the medication and that he needs to use his tools instead of medication to get through this. I told him that if the tools don't work, he can go back on medication.
I talked to him about the teacher wants to make sure he is able to use all his tools while his body adjusts to not having the medication. I also talked to him about letting a teacher know when the kids are annoying him. I explained that when he gets so angry that he strikes back without thinking, he will get into trouble. Let's find a way to report whatever is happening before you get that angry.
I told him to talk to a teacher if he feels kids are picking on another kid. He replied that the teachers will say that the other kid needs to report it. So, I told him that he can say to the other kid, "I don't like how the other kids are treating you. I think you need to let the teacher know and I can go with you to help if you want." I told him that he needs to help teach the other kid how to find help.
He has such a black and white outlook on justice. He hates seeing other kids being mean but does not realize that sometimes the way he chooses to fight back is by being mean also.
When we finally got home (I had errands that absolutely had to be done otherwise we would have come straight home), I asked him if he would do the stress eraser. He stated he did not want to. I so hope the girl's comment hasn't totally turned him off it. Why do kids have to be so mean, and why do kids believe everything their peers say? His therapist recommended he do the stress eraser every night before bed so hopefully he will continue with that and just doesn't want to take it to school.
Sometimes it is hard to determine what is personality and what is anxiety.
Time will tell. I don't feel this was severe enough to automatically jump to reevaluating the medications. It will take time to adjust to not having medications. Also, if he does need to go back on medications, changing to a different medication will be an easier option if he is completely off this one.
I still have faith in him that he can watch out for his triggers and know when the anxiety starts climbing. He can use his tools to control it.
I hope my instincts are correct. I am blessed to have teachers who are in tuned to what might be anxiety. Although he doesn't see it, difficult child's teacher does try to keep him from anything that will increase the anxiety and is open to any of my suggestions.
p.s. I am still using our old computer. Don't know how often I can access it. I think I am getting used to it. But still want a new computer.
