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General Parenting
difficult child has me on. the. edge. VENTVENTVENT...LONG
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 296117" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Gosh, how horrible to live with! My bro was like that, but he took it even farther. He would go out driving in the country. If he saw a barn or house that looked "abandoned" he would go an walk up to and INSIDE the building. He actually took boxes of stuff from barns and old homes all around this area. He took an old dresser from a barn he decided was unused (meaning no one was in it when he was there - not that it had holes in the roof, or no roof, or was totally falling down. He refinished the one dresser to an incredible condition. A furniture dealer who bought some furniture from my mom offered her $3000 on the spot for it. But she didn't sell it because she didn't know it was stolen. she just thought my bro got it at a flea market and fixed it up. She wouldn't believe me when I said he stole it, and he told me so. </p><p></p><p>Heck, he used to go to a seniors townhouse/apartment complex near here. It is for very wealthy people. If a door was unlocked he would go in and look for money or blank checks - with people home sleeping!!!!!</p><p></p><p>Needless to say he has been shot at quite a few times. He even got hit with birdseed fired from a shotgun by an old man, but between the distance and the heavy duty jeans he was not sincerely hurt. I had to dig the stuff out of him or risk him hurting me. I just wished it would have hurt him more (May the Lord have mercy on me for wishing him harm but I was so afraid of what he might do to someone who surprised him on his rambles!)</p><p></p><p>Stuff at home was also open season. One year I put hair dye in my shampoo because he always took mine instead of telling mom or I he needed more (I did most of the shopping but mom did some. All he had to do is say he needed some and he would have some the next day! Jerk!). It wasn't super obvious, but he was livid. But after he screamed at me and hit me for about an hour he left me alone and didn't take my shampoo or conditioner any more. </p><p></p><p>I don't know how to get him to stop. Though with the laundry I think you should put a deadbolt on the laundry room and refuse to let him use it. That is far cheaper a solution than just waiting for him to ruin the machines. He can work to pay for clean laundry if you don't choose to pay for his use of the laundromat. A few times of hoofin' it to the laundry with his bags of dirty clothes will likely have him wanting a driver's license. </p><p></p><p>Word of warning: He is so much like my bro that you should NEVER loan him a car. It will have something broken every time he uses it. My bro pushed me into letting him "use" my dryer while we lived at my parents. He stored it in his basement for me and used it. A year later my top of the line at the time dryer barely worked. Since my parents told him he could use it my dad bought me a new dryer. The old one quit 2 weeks after I got my new one. The appliance repair guru said it was destroyed because the way bro used it. </p><p></p><p>I am SO sorry you are living with the next generation of my gfgbro! Lots of hugs coming your way! Since your difficult child is 19 he should be pushed to pay for as much as is possible. If he isn't working he should not have the luxuries of life as much as you can manage to take them away from him. Good luck, and I hope he can mature enough to move out very soon!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 296117, member: 1233"] Gosh, how horrible to live with! My bro was like that, but he took it even farther. He would go out driving in the country. If he saw a barn or house that looked "abandoned" he would go an walk up to and INSIDE the building. He actually took boxes of stuff from barns and old homes all around this area. He took an old dresser from a barn he decided was unused (meaning no one was in it when he was there - not that it had holes in the roof, or no roof, or was totally falling down. He refinished the one dresser to an incredible condition. A furniture dealer who bought some furniture from my mom offered her $3000 on the spot for it. But she didn't sell it because she didn't know it was stolen. she just thought my bro got it at a flea market and fixed it up. She wouldn't believe me when I said he stole it, and he told me so. Heck, he used to go to a seniors townhouse/apartment complex near here. It is for very wealthy people. If a door was unlocked he would go in and look for money or blank checks - with people home sleeping!!!!! Needless to say he has been shot at quite a few times. He even got hit with birdseed fired from a shotgun by an old man, but between the distance and the heavy duty jeans he was not sincerely hurt. I had to dig the stuff out of him or risk him hurting me. I just wished it would have hurt him more (May the Lord have mercy on me for wishing him harm but I was so afraid of what he might do to someone who surprised him on his rambles!) Stuff at home was also open season. One year I put hair dye in my shampoo because he always took mine instead of telling mom or I he needed more (I did most of the shopping but mom did some. All he had to do is say he needed some and he would have some the next day! Jerk!). It wasn't super obvious, but he was livid. But after he screamed at me and hit me for about an hour he left me alone and didn't take my shampoo or conditioner any more. I don't know how to get him to stop. Though with the laundry I think you should put a deadbolt on the laundry room and refuse to let him use it. That is far cheaper a solution than just waiting for him to ruin the machines. He can work to pay for clean laundry if you don't choose to pay for his use of the laundromat. A few times of hoofin' it to the laundry with his bags of dirty clothes will likely have him wanting a driver's license. Word of warning: He is so much like my bro that you should NEVER loan him a car. It will have something broken every time he uses it. My bro pushed me into letting him "use" my dryer while we lived at my parents. He stored it in his basement for me and used it. A year later my top of the line at the time dryer barely worked. Since my parents told him he could use it my dad bought me a new dryer. The old one quit 2 weeks after I got my new one. The appliance repair guru said it was destroyed because the way bro used it. I am SO sorry you are living with the next generation of my gfgbro! Lots of hugs coming your way! Since your difficult child is 19 he should be pushed to pay for as much as is possible. If he isn't working he should not have the luxuries of life as much as you can manage to take them away from him. Good luck, and I hope he can mature enough to move out very soon! [/QUOTE]
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difficult child has me on. the. edge. VENTVENTVENT...LONG
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