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General Parenting
difficult child is good in outside world, but horrible at home.
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 386931" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>HangingOn, he's got a lot of issues for an 8-yr-old. He's already been at Residential Treatment Center (RTC), which is a big step for a little kid, and he's on a lot of medications. I can see why you are so torn.</p><p>I agree with-Marg, that you've got to try something different (and I understand that he can by physical). </p><p>It is interesting that you say he called you f-ing B a few times a wk now, which is less than he used to do, several times a day. That means he has improved. (Hard to see from your perspective but true.) He knows your buttons and you let him push them. Do NOT buy into it.</p><p>You have to pretend you're a robot. Whatever you decide to do when he says that, for example, must be automatic and calm and consistent. Maybe cut out 10 min of TV time, or send him to be early (if he will go!).</p><p>One thing I do is literally walk away when my son starts to argue. I can all too easily be drawn into it with-him. He is so clever that way.</p><p>I would suggest working on just one behavior at a time.</p><p>I would pick the violence first ... but is the swearing and belittling tied into the physical violence? I mean, does he escalate? Or are these separate issues?</p><p>What starts him off? Can you tell if it's jealousy, dietary, lack of sleep, inability to transition, something genetic, or all of the above? Once you identify one or two triggers, you can work around them.</p><p>I need a little more information.</p><p> </p><p>What do you do when he kicks your knees? When he throws things at your head?</p><p>Do you ever take time to play with-him outside, for example, if he want to throw a ball at your head, you could catch it and throw it back, and you could see if that helps him get it out of his system or if it makes it worse. Sometimes these kids can't tell the difference between a game and real life.</p><p> </p><p>When he cut up the card that his brother gave him, it gave me an indication that he may be on the autism spectrum, partly because these kids love to cut or shred paper to relieve stress, and partly because he had no social clue or cue that he was supposed to keep the card intact and display it.</p><p> </p><p>Like I said, I need more information. </p><p> </p><p>Best of luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 386931, member: 3419"] HangingOn, he's got a lot of issues for an 8-yr-old. He's already been at Residential Treatment Center (RTC), which is a big step for a little kid, and he's on a lot of medications. I can see why you are so torn. I agree with-Marg, that you've got to try something different (and I understand that he can by physical). It is interesting that you say he called you f-ing B a few times a wk now, which is less than he used to do, several times a day. That means he has improved. (Hard to see from your perspective but true.) He knows your buttons and you let him push them. Do NOT buy into it. You have to pretend you're a robot. Whatever you decide to do when he says that, for example, must be automatic and calm and consistent. Maybe cut out 10 min of TV time, or send him to be early (if he will go!). One thing I do is literally walk away when my son starts to argue. I can all too easily be drawn into it with-him. He is so clever that way. I would suggest working on just one behavior at a time. I would pick the violence first ... but is the swearing and belittling tied into the physical violence? I mean, does he escalate? Or are these separate issues? What starts him off? Can you tell if it's jealousy, dietary, lack of sleep, inability to transition, something genetic, or all of the above? Once you identify one or two triggers, you can work around them. I need a little more information. What do you do when he kicks your knees? When he throws things at your head? Do you ever take time to play with-him outside, for example, if he want to throw a ball at your head, you could catch it and throw it back, and you could see if that helps him get it out of his system or if it makes it worse. Sometimes these kids can't tell the difference between a game and real life. When he cut up the card that his brother gave him, it gave me an indication that he may be on the autism spectrum, partly because these kids love to cut or shred paper to relieve stress, and partly because he had no social clue or cue that he was supposed to keep the card intact and display it. Like I said, I need more information. Best of luck! [/QUOTE]
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