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General Parenting
difficult child is good in outside world, but horrible at home.
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 387306" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Whatever battles you choose, you have to win. And walking away means no battle, so he has not won, no matter how much it seems otherwise. And you can't engage them all and you can't win them all. Choose one thing to change and leave the rest. For now.</p><p></p><p>You will never be able to discipline him into being a normally-behaved person. he has to learn this by copying your behaviour, and not by listening to you. You have to demonstrate this in how you live.</p><p></p><p>By walking away, you are also teaching him to walk way instead of engage, when he cannot win an engagement. This is a very valuable lesson for him, so even in walking away, you are teaching him well.</p><p></p><p>Also consider - natural consequences. If he insults you, is rude to you and then demands food (or some other service) then you can tell him that you will give him his basic needs but anything more is only what you will do when you want to, and if he is kind to you, you will feel more kindly disposed to wards him and be more likely to want to do nice things for him. Or if you are too tired form doing his chores as well, then you won't have the energy to do more for him. If he wants something from you and you are busy, then helping you will mean you will finish your chores faster and be able to then give him what he wants. You scratch my back... Again, valuable lessons.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 387306, member: 1991"] Whatever battles you choose, you have to win. And walking away means no battle, so he has not won, no matter how much it seems otherwise. And you can't engage them all and you can't win them all. Choose one thing to change and leave the rest. For now. You will never be able to discipline him into being a normally-behaved person. he has to learn this by copying your behaviour, and not by listening to you. You have to demonstrate this in how you live. By walking away, you are also teaching him to walk way instead of engage, when he cannot win an engagement. This is a very valuable lesson for him, so even in walking away, you are teaching him well. Also consider - natural consequences. If he insults you, is rude to you and then demands food (or some other service) then you can tell him that you will give him his basic needs but anything more is only what you will do when you want to, and if he is kind to you, you will feel more kindly disposed to wards him and be more likely to want to do nice things for him. Or if you are too tired form doing his chores as well, then you won't have the energy to do more for him. If he wants something from you and you are busy, then helping you will mean you will finish your chores faster and be able to then give him what he wants. You scratch my back... Again, valuable lessons. Marg [/QUOTE]
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difficult child is good in outside world, but horrible at home.
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