Hi all. I thought it might be time for an update. It has been a very tumultuous month and I am not sure whether we did the right thing.
As you all may recall, difficult child relapsed big time and ended up getting fired from two jobs in a month. She also broke her ankle (stumbling over a table because she was drunk?) and was living in an apartment with two other women. We don't know what happened but it got to the point where the electricity was turned off and they were being evicted. difficult child called and said she had no money for food or gas, couldn't charge her phone because she had no electricty and the phone was about dead, and didn't know what to do.
I was ready to let her fall and fend for herself as recommended by my therapist and my Families Anonymous group. husband became very concerned when he didn't hear from her and even had the police do a welfare check and they found the apartment door unlocked and her car was there but no difficult child.
We found out why the next day. She had swallowed a bottle of pills and got scared and called for help. She was in the adult psychiatric unit. They kept her for a week and wouldn't release her with the usual bus pass because of her broken ankle.
At that point, husband became frantic and started researching rehabs. It turned out that her insurance did not cover freestanding subacute rehab treatment programs. He talked to someone at the recommendation of the hospital social worker who was knowledgeable about the rehabs and IOPs in the area and he suggested a combination halfway house/IOP program that he though highly of. The insurance does cover the IOP 100% since she is over her $1450 out of pocket max. husband called difficult child and asked is she was interested in that and she jumped at the chance. Maybe the last month scared her. I hope so.
difficult child has actually been talking about going to an IOP and starting therapy since she relapsed. I was against it because she wanted to do it while living on her own. I feel much better with it being in conjunction with a halfway house.
Of course, for now, we are going to have to cover the rent so once again we are paying for her mistakes. I am very conflicted about this but I really saw that husband was not ready for tough love. I have never seen him in such a bad state. The broken ankle was a complicating factor. I spoke with the interventionist we had used and she was all for helping difficult child as long as it was while she was in treatment and in sober living. I find myself really resenting having to pay for this again, though.
Did we do the right thing?
~Kathy
