My feeling is that the right thing is what you can live with. Your husband was not ready to live with what could happen if you didn't provide support. That is not right or wrong, it just is what he can sleep with at night and that's big. When you described what has been going on I thought about TL immediately. When her difficult child was ready for help she helped, and that is what you are doing. The only difference is in sober house instead of residential, but it is help. I know the financial part stinks and there may come a time when you just can't do that anymore.
Kathy I'm so sorry that the merry-go-round continues for you, but look at TL's son, he seems to be doing well, better than he has ever done before. None of us knows at what point our difficult child will decide to change. And it is possible that this time may really have scared her. She can't possibly like living this way can she?
I don't know when or if you will get to the point where you can talk to her rationally or even want to, but when she is sober it would be interesting to hear what she thinks you should do the next time this happens given the fact that your money is limited and there just may be none left by then.
