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difficult child is not speaking to me
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 156027"><p>We did have a chore chart once and it was a monumental disaster. Of course, it was several years ago when difficult child's other issues were just huge and it just created more battles. It is definitely time to revisit it again. At least with difficult child. easy child does so much around the house as it is. He just hasn't been home much the last couple of weeks. I was feeling half way decent yesterday and wanted help with the house. I have to take those days when I can get them. I wasn't even asking him not to see his girlfriend. I just asked that she come over here instead of him going there so when I needed help he'd be here. His response is he'll just do it all by himself later. That my sound noble, but when I'm feeling half way decent I want to be productive instead of feeling like a sack of potatoes. Plus, that 'later' can be a ways away. </p><p></p><p>But, BBK is right. The chore chart wouldn't have mattered in this case. I was asking for a favor. </p><p></p><p>As far as difficult child walking all over me. That's stopping right here, right now. I've had it up to my eyeballs with her demands and ridiculous expectations. It's time she started taking some responsibility for herself. And I have a strong feeling that's going to include repeating the 7th grade. She makes a half-hearted (if that much) attempt at her schoolwork. The teachers cut her a break because of her issues and because of my health. And, frankly, it's time people stop bailing her out and let her deal with the consequences. I know my daughter and I know that is the only way she will learn. As long as people keep bailing her out, she's going to go through life expecting it. Then difficult child gets mad at me and yells that she's going to fail the 7th grade. I've told her that's what happens when you don't do the work. But, that is my fault, too. Because taking away privileges, sitting on her (ok, sitting next to her the entire time) to do her work, having conferences with the teachers, bringing in a tutor, etc wasn't enough to get her to do it then I didn't try hard enough to make her do it. (Yes, her words.) </p><p></p><p>I'm not rescuing her from herself anymore. I will support her, I will guide her, I will hold her hand. But, I'm not bailing her out of her choices anymore.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 156027"] We did have a chore chart once and it was a monumental disaster. Of course, it was several years ago when difficult child's other issues were just huge and it just created more battles. It is definitely time to revisit it again. At least with difficult child. easy child does so much around the house as it is. He just hasn't been home much the last couple of weeks. I was feeling half way decent yesterday and wanted help with the house. I have to take those days when I can get them. I wasn't even asking him not to see his girlfriend. I just asked that she come over here instead of him going there so when I needed help he'd be here. His response is he'll just do it all by himself later. That my sound noble, but when I'm feeling half way decent I want to be productive instead of feeling like a sack of potatoes. Plus, that 'later' can be a ways away. But, BBK is right. The chore chart wouldn't have mattered in this case. I was asking for a favor. As far as difficult child walking all over me. That's stopping right here, right now. I've had it up to my eyeballs with her demands and ridiculous expectations. It's time she started taking some responsibility for herself. And I have a strong feeling that's going to include repeating the 7th grade. She makes a half-hearted (if that much) attempt at her schoolwork. The teachers cut her a break because of her issues and because of my health. And, frankly, it's time people stop bailing her out and let her deal with the consequences. I know my daughter and I know that is the only way she will learn. As long as people keep bailing her out, she's going to go through life expecting it. Then difficult child gets mad at me and yells that she's going to fail the 7th grade. I've told her that's what happens when you don't do the work. But, that is my fault, too. Because taking away privileges, sitting on her (ok, sitting next to her the entire time) to do her work, having conferences with the teachers, bringing in a tutor, etc wasn't enough to get her to do it then I didn't try hard enough to make her do it. (Yes, her words.) I'm not rescuing her from herself anymore. I will support her, I will guide her, I will hold her hand. But, I'm not bailing her out of her choices anymore. [/QUOTE]
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