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General Parenting
difficult child is regressing, cycling, and shutting down
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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 203832" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>I'm so sorry, Steely. How long has Matt been in the over-18 group? Has it been a couple of days, or a couple of weeks ...? I imagine that, since he's been in UT for awhile, he's back on his proper medications? </p><p></p><p>A regression with change isn't unexpected, but with some time the new situation will become 'normal'. I would encourage you to give Matt time to adjust to the new group. You're his mom and always will be, but ... Matt is not a child anymore. That doesn't mean abandoning him or not caring about him but it means allowing him to cope with adverse circumstances himself. He will have to cope with change as an adult - moving residence, changing jobs, learning new tasks at a job, keeping up with everything that constantly changes in the adult world. By trusting him to cope with this change of groups, you will be helping him with that adult task. He has adults there to supervise; they may have a different decision point at which to call in the doctor, but they will do it if necessary. This is hard for him but getting through it will help him so much.</p><p></p><p>Janet had some good thoughts about looking into housing and services for when Matt finishes this program. It would surely help your peace of mind to know that there are services and supports available for him. </p><p></p><p>Lots of {{{hugs}}}. Don't second-guess yourself and your decisions. You made thoughtful decisions based on the best knowledge and advice you had. It doesn't sound as though the decisions were wrong - problems can come up with any situation, but the overall plan is still good. Let the past go, think of the future, and - very importantly - think of yourself! Take a bubble bath, read your favorite book or watch your favorite movie, do something nice for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 203832, member: 2884"] I'm so sorry, Steely. How long has Matt been in the over-18 group? Has it been a couple of days, or a couple of weeks ...? I imagine that, since he's been in UT for awhile, he's back on his proper medications? A regression with change isn't unexpected, but with some time the new situation will become 'normal'. I would encourage you to give Matt time to adjust to the new group. You're his mom and always will be, but ... Matt is not a child anymore. That doesn't mean abandoning him or not caring about him but it means allowing him to cope with adverse circumstances himself. He will have to cope with change as an adult - moving residence, changing jobs, learning new tasks at a job, keeping up with everything that constantly changes in the adult world. By trusting him to cope with this change of groups, you will be helping him with that adult task. He has adults there to supervise; they may have a different decision point at which to call in the doctor, but they will do it if necessary. This is hard for him but getting through it will help him so much. Janet had some good thoughts about looking into housing and services for when Matt finishes this program. It would surely help your peace of mind to know that there are services and supports available for him. Lots of {{{hugs}}}. Don't second-guess yourself and your decisions. You made thoughtful decisions based on the best knowledge and advice you had. It doesn't sound as though the decisions were wrong - problems can come up with any situation, but the overall plan is still good. Let the past go, think of the future, and - very importantly - think of yourself! Take a bubble bath, read your favorite book or watch your favorite movie, do something nice for you. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child is regressing, cycling, and shutting down
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