I had this dilemma also. difficult child was much like yours, lifestyle was not condusive to keeping healthy. Unfortunately for me, however, his medical bills had more to do with injuries he suffered as a result of his behavior.
I paid for his busted jaw. I drove him back & forth to the oral surgeon. I gave him a blender, bought ice cream & soup, ibuprofin and straws.
I didn't pay for his car accident, tho I did buy his pain medications afterwards, and I did drive him back & forth to doctor visits.
As a Mom, I absolutely cannot stand the sight of my child in physical pain. All my detachment goes right out the window! So, I have no practical advice to offer. I do like what the others have said. I just wanted to let you know, of course, you are not alone!
Peace
