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difficult child is so selfish
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 208356" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Gentle HUGS!!!</p><p> </p><p>Kids promising to take care of pets and not following through is pretty typical. The only way it happens is if mom absolutely refuses to take care of them and is willing to give them up if the child doesn't. Otherwise, you're stuck.</p><p> </p><p>However, that is absolutely no excuse for Wynter being so lazy that she won't help you when you're flaring. Being an adolescent is hard. Being an adolescent with extreme anxiety has to make it even harder. You have extreme empathy for Wynter, which is one of the reasons why you're not consistent with her. Another factor is that sometmes it is much easier to just give in than go another round with the arguments, whining, cajoling. Being illl makes it happen a bit more often than it probably would. Then comes the biggie -- guilt. I don't know of a single parent who doesn't feel guilty that there's no other parent there for their child. We end up doing just a bit more than we should for our kids, try to make life as easy as possible. Sadly, as they get older, we discover that we weren't doing them or us any favors.</p><p> </p><p>As much as you can, stand up to her. You owe her a home, food, education. Anything else is a gift. She may just have to be reminded of that fact and reminded forcefully. If the attitude keeps up, I think all her goth clothes and the teeth need to go. She can get perfectly acceptable outfits at Goodwill and the Salvation Army, especially since she's not going to school where her peers can make fun of her clothing. If she can't help with the pets, you can't help straighten her hair. You certainly can't take her to the mall or wherever since you have to be responsible for the cats and dogs. </p><p> </p><p>Wynter needs to have her eyes opened. Like it or not, you're sick and she needs to accept that and step up to the plate and help. No, it's not fair but that's life.</p><p> </p><p>For you, my friend, just love and hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 208356, member: 3626"] Gentle HUGS!!! Kids promising to take care of pets and not following through is pretty typical. The only way it happens is if mom absolutely refuses to take care of them and is willing to give them up if the child doesn't. Otherwise, you're stuck. However, that is absolutely no excuse for Wynter being so lazy that she won't help you when you're flaring. Being an adolescent is hard. Being an adolescent with extreme anxiety has to make it even harder. You have extreme empathy for Wynter, which is one of the reasons why you're not consistent with her. Another factor is that sometmes it is much easier to just give in than go another round with the arguments, whining, cajoling. Being illl makes it happen a bit more often than it probably would. Then comes the biggie -- guilt. I don't know of a single parent who doesn't feel guilty that there's no other parent there for their child. We end up doing just a bit more than we should for our kids, try to make life as easy as possible. Sadly, as they get older, we discover that we weren't doing them or us any favors. As much as you can, stand up to her. You owe her a home, food, education. Anything else is a gift. She may just have to be reminded of that fact and reminded forcefully. If the attitude keeps up, I think all her goth clothes and the teeth need to go. She can get perfectly acceptable outfits at Goodwill and the Salvation Army, especially since she's not going to school where her peers can make fun of her clothing. If she can't help with the pets, you can't help straighten her hair. You certainly can't take her to the mall or wherever since you have to be responsible for the cats and dogs. Wynter needs to have her eyes opened. Like it or not, you're sick and she needs to accept that and step up to the plate and help. No, it's not fair but that's life. For you, my friend, just love and hugs. [/QUOTE]
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