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General Parenting
difficult child Left Home....Temporarily (I think)
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 435210" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>klmno, I can't speak for your justice system where you are these days. I agree, it doesn't sound balanced to only focus on parenting and not to also deal with a kid who does the wrong thing, especially to such extremes. Sadly, it is not perfect. It was not in the past, either. Those girls - someone should have told the authorities about the parental neglect and removed them before they began to commit crimes. These girls just did not understand what was right or wrong. I know, because I spent a lot of time talking to them and was horrified by their naivete. And in a supposedly caring, parental society, nobody intervened. Even when I tried to get them to church with me, the disapproving looks were overwhelming. Looks from adults who should have stepped up to the plate and helped. That was not quite 50 years ago.</p><p></p><p>Your son has not been given the help he needed and neither have you. If this had been happening 50 years ago, I am not sure how different your lives would have been. He may have been thrown into the system sooner. Would he have been made to face his own faults? I can't say. But I remember "reform schools" and "boys homes" from 50 years ago in our area; the inmates were never given a chance in society later on, the expectation was that in jail they had learned how to be better criminals.</p><p></p><p>It seems that with an increasing emphasis on healing the damage, there is perhaps too much focus on trying to place blame, often in the wrong place, and not actually work with the individual to rise above whatever the issue is and change themselves.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 435210, member: 1991"] klmno, I can't speak for your justice system where you are these days. I agree, it doesn't sound balanced to only focus on parenting and not to also deal with a kid who does the wrong thing, especially to such extremes. Sadly, it is not perfect. It was not in the past, either. Those girls - someone should have told the authorities about the parental neglect and removed them before they began to commit crimes. These girls just did not understand what was right or wrong. I know, because I spent a lot of time talking to them and was horrified by their naivete. And in a supposedly caring, parental society, nobody intervened. Even when I tried to get them to church with me, the disapproving looks were overwhelming. Looks from adults who should have stepped up to the plate and helped. That was not quite 50 years ago. Your son has not been given the help he needed and neither have you. If this had been happening 50 years ago, I am not sure how different your lives would have been. He may have been thrown into the system sooner. Would he have been made to face his own faults? I can't say. But I remember "reform schools" and "boys homes" from 50 years ago in our area; the inmates were never given a chance in society later on, the expectation was that in jail they had learned how to be better criminals. It seems that with an increasing emphasis on healing the damage, there is perhaps too much focus on trying to place blame, often in the wrong place, and not actually work with the individual to rise above whatever the issue is and change themselves. Marg [/QUOTE]
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